


Godspeed, Titanic

by LoserLikeSkeeter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, F/M, Friendship, M/M, Multi, Romance, Survival, Titanic - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-09 00:57:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 39,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17397059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoserLikeSkeeter/pseuds/LoserLikeSkeeter
Summary: "What's it like up there?" Ginny asked in wonder, "First class is remarkable, isn't it?""It's remarkably boring, to tell you the truth." Bill chuckled, loosening his bow tie as he did, "I hope you don't mind; I brought a friend to join in the festivities. This is-""Sirius Black." Remus gasped, shaking his head with a wry smile, "Gracing the steerage with your presence?"Titanic AU





	1. Chapter 1

“My God, it’s incredible!” Ron remarked, using his hand to shield his eyes from the rays of morning sunlight, as he admired the remarkable ship before them, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything this tall in my whole life. How tall do you suppose it is?” he asked, turning to his brothers, who were unphased, chasing idly after their tiddlywinks.

“Fred – _George,_ stop that this instant!” Mrs. Weasley grumbled, as she hoisted her bundle higher under her arm, turning on Ron then, “You’ve got dirt on your nose.” she groaned, licking her thumb and smudging it away, “Arthur – _Arthur, pay attention!_ ” the matriarch snapped, “The tickets!”

“Yes, yes.” he mused, refusing to take his eyes off of the ship. He, like his youngest son, was astounded by the sight, “I’ve got them, right here.” he murmured, patting his breast pocket.

“Good.” she agreed, “Percy, you’ve got Ginny, yes?”

“Yes, Mum.” he grumbled curtly, looking up from the book that he’d been studying, “Just like I did a home – just like I did at the station – just like I did on the walk _from_ the station. Ginny will not leave my sight.”

“Good boy.” She ruffled his hair, allowing him to go back to his reading.

“ _Edward Remus, get back here-_ ” a desperate voice called, as a tiny boy rocketed past, nearly running Percy and Ginny over as he did, “Oh, I’m sorry. So sorry!” The woman whom they’d assumed to be he mother darted after him, one suitcase a bundle of baby clothes balanced precariously under one arm and a suitcase in the other hand. Though she was trying to weave through the crowd unnoticed, the suitcase was doing her no favors, working similarly to a battering ram as she tried to catch hold of her son.

“Got him!” Mr. Weasley declared, sweeping the little boy off the ground mid-stride, tucking him under one arm, laughing along as he cackled.

“Thanks,” the young mother chuckled, panting as she came to a stop in front of the family, “Sorry about him. He’s just excited.” she said, taking hold of the little boy’s chubby fist, searching through the crowd for the rest of her party, “Bloody hell, I’ve lost them.” she groaned absently, bouncing on her toes to try to see over the heads of the masses.

“He’s a smiley thing, isn’t he?” Ginny giggled, squeezing the boy’s cheek as he cackled wildly, swatting at her hand.

“Over here, Mrs. Lupin!” a bushy-haired girl called, waving her arms above the crowd, a pitying smile on her face. It was clear by her expression, and that of the man standing alongside her, that this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened.

“There they are,” she sighed with relief, “Sorry again.” she said, giving an apologetic smile to the Weasleys, before darting off to rejoin her own group.

“Third class passengers proceed at once to the gangway. Please bring your boarding documents and await further instruction.” an officer called, and voices immediately raised to calamitous heights, as the passengers began jostling for position.

 

\---

 

“You don’t have to look so impressed, Harry.” Sirius murmured, glancing up and down the dock with an unimpressed expression, “These Europeans socialites will get the impression that you’re new money.”

“But I am new money.” Harry pointed out.

“Yes, but I’m not. You’re making me look bad.” Sirius rebuked, giving Harry a side eye as he nudged him in the ribs, “Come on; that was funny.” he insisted.

Harry gave a weak attempt at a laugh, his eyes peering up at the massive ship before them, “Yes, Godfather.”

“You don’t have to call me that, you know?” he continued, suddenly feeling sympathy for the boy. The reason for their journey was not a happy one and the last thing he wanted was to give Harry more reasons to be miserable and uncomfortable, “You can call me Sirius, if you like.”

“Right.” Harry nodded, leaving it at that, “The – um – the ship is impressive.”

“Yes,” Sirius murmured thoughtfully, before giving Harry a pat on the shoulder, “You stay here. I’m going to see what I can do to get us onboard faster.”

“I don’t think-”

“No, I put a lot of money into this ship, the least they can do is ensure we’re not wasting away in the sun for hours. I’ll be back. Stay there.” he said with a cheeky grin, as he darted into the crowd and out of sight.

 

\---

 

“We meet again,” the young mother’s voice called, drawing the attention of the Weasleys once all of those boarding settled into a somewhat orderly line, “Thanks for earlier.” she murmured, giving Mr. Weasley an apologetic smile, “My son, Teddy, sometimes he can just slip right through your fingers.”

“No harm done.” the older man said with a jovial laugh, “I haven’t introduced my family.” he said, turning toward his large brood, “My wife, Molly, our sons,” he said, motioning to them at large, “Percy, Fred, George, Ron, and our youngest is Ginny.”

“Sure, and I’m Tonks, and you’ve met Teddy.” she said, hoisting the now-sleeping boy higher on her hip, “That’s Hermione and this is my husband.”

“Remus Lupin,” he murmured extending a hand to Mr. Weasley in greeting.

“Arthur Weasley. What takes you to America?” he asked, trying to pass the time as the line was moving at entirely too slow of a crawl.

“Same as everyone, I suppose.” Remus said with a shrug, “The work isn’t any good. Figured we’d try our luck in America.”

 

\---

 

“Come on, Harry!” Sirius called, flapping his arms from atop the gangway to gain his godson’s attention.

Harry flushed as all eyes fell on him. He shoved through the crowd with his eyes trained on the ground, through excited murmurings of, “Is that _him?_ ” “That’s Harry Potter?” “That...boy who lived?” Every newspaper had eagerly ran with the stories of how Harry had cheated death, _and_ about how he would be crossing on the Titanic. He’d expected the whispers and gasps as he passed, but that didn’t mean he had to like them.

He finally made it to Sirius’s side, practically sprinting past him and onto the ship as the officer declared, “Lord Sirius Black and Master Harry Potter will be occupying B45.” to the bellboy who shepherded them to their quarters.

“Yes, this will do quite nicely.” Sirius remarked as he admired their suite, “Quite nice indeed. Harry, would you like to pick your room?” he asked absently, as he wandered over to the couch and lit up a cigar.

“I’ll take...whichever one you don’t, I suppose.” Harry said glumly.

“Nonsense.” Sirius declared, snapping at the bellboy who had been setting about unpacking the half dozen trunks that had just been delivered to the room, “Set the boy up in the master, if you would.”

“Of course, sir.”

Harry clenched his fists in frustration, “You didn’t have to do that.”

Sirius let out a sigh, “Well, I think I’m going to go up on deck if you’d care to join me.”

“I think I’d like to stay here, thanks.” he murmured, turning away to dig through his bag.

Sirius stood, pocketing his cigar tin and making his way out into the hall. He shook his head, trying to free himself from the gloomy thoughts surrounding Harry. This was supposed to be an exciting trip, a thing to bring he and his godson closer, because as of yet, Harry had been adamant about keeping Sirius at arms’ length. Surely, he hoped, it hadn’t all been for naught.

The moment he had made his way up onto the promenade deck, though, a voice caught his attention, “Lord Black?” He turned to see a young ginger man approaching, a broad smile on his face and a beautiful young woman at his flank, “It is...Lord Black, isn’t it?” he asked, “We haven’t met officially. Bill Weasley and my wife, Fleur.”

“I’m sorry,” he shook his head perplexed, even as he took the younger man’s hand in greeting, “I don’t-”

“I’ll be managing the Black and Sons New York branch.” Bill said proudly.

Realization donned on Sirius’s face then as he nodded along, “Ah, yes.” he agreed, “From the London branch. I do remember hearing about that. Congratulations.”

“I just wanted to say a thanks.” Bill continued earnestly, “It was good of the company to put us up in first. And to offer a stipend so that I could bring my family to America as well...really, we can’t thank you enough.”

“Well, I’m afraid I’m not the man you should be thanking.” Sirius chuckled, “I don’t have too much of a hand in the family business anymore. Though I do hope you enjoy your new position. And I hope America is good to you.”

“Thank you, Lord-”

“Please, call me Sirius.” he grumbled, waving his hand in dismissal, “We’re all friends here.”

Bill’s face, if it were possible, lit up further, “Sirius, then.”

Over the next ensuing moments, the horns blared and people crammed themselves onto the decks below to wave farewell to those ashore. Sirius let out a labored sigh, leaning against the railings as they began making their way out to sea, “Cigar?” he asked, lighting one for himself and then flashing the tin for Bill.

His nose curled as he shook his head, “No, thank you.” he said, holding his hand up, “Can’t stand the things.”

“I wouldn’t mind.” Fleur’s soft voice, which had remained dormant up to that point, interjected with a look of longing, “These are from Navarre?” she asked, admiring the one that she’d picked from the tin.

“Your woman knows tobacco.” Sirius whistled, as he lit it for her.

“She should. Her father has a tobacco farm in Huron.”

They stood in silence, watching the pier fade into the horizon as the ship made its way toward open water. Once the cigars were long behind them and the conversation seemed to be wearing thin, Sirius pushed himself upright and stretched his arms high above his head, giving a mighty yawn, “Well, I must be getting back. I need to make sure my godson’s settled in. It was a pleasure, Mr. Weasley.” he murmured, shaking Bill’s hand one more time as he took his leave, “I’ll be seeing you two for dinner.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Ah, yes!” the elderly general remarked, clapping Harry on the back so hard he nearly lost his mouthful of mousse, “That does remind me of a time while I was on Safari, my boy-”

The man’s grumblings of a time in years’ past faded into the background as Sirius’s eyes began to sag from boredom. Looking to his left, he saw that Bill was in quite the same state, his head in one hand as he swirled a glass of wine with the other. To their credit, though, both Fleur and Harry were giving quite the show, if not entertained, at least giving a valiant effort at pretending to be so.

“Are you as bored as I am?” Bill murmured absently in Sirius’s direction, pulling his napkin from his lap and setting it across his plate.

“It’s taking everything I’ve got just to stay awake at this point.” Sirius conceded.

Bill leaned closer then, repositioning his cuff link as he whispered, “My mum’s told me there’s supposed to be some sort of party downstairs tonight, if you want to make a break for it.”

“You wanna take that with us?” Sirius questioned, jerking his head toward the bar cart where three sizable bottles of champagne sat unsupervised, “Latimer won’t notice until we’re long gone.”

“Gentlemen,” Bill announced, standing as he did so, nearly knocking his chair backwards, “Unfortunately, I’ll have to leave you here.” he said, drawing all eyes to himself, “Lots of...business to tend to before morning. Thank you for a wonderful evening.” With that, he turned on a heel and left. Sirius did not miss the nearly indiscernible scoop of his body, though, as he bent to grab one of the champagne bottles on his way out.

“Well, since we’re saying our goodbyes, gentlemen, I’m afraid it is getting close to my godson’s curfew, so we’d ought to be off as well. Come, Harry.” With the same amount of stealth, or lack thereof, Sirius ripped from the room, grabbing the remaining two bottles as he went, Harry tight on his heels.

“Is this curfew a punishment for how I behaved this morning?” Harry asked as he practically sprinted to keep up with his godfather, “Because if it is-”

“No, no, nothing like that. I just said that to get us out of there.” Sirius said with a low chuckle, as he kept his eyes trained on Bill, who was a good twenty feet ahead, though they were gaining, “We’re going to a party.”

  
\---

“Will you keep an eye on your children?” Mrs. Weasley grumbled at her husband, swatting at the back of his head, as he drained another beer, “I think Fred and George have each drank down double what you have and I won’t be dealing with sick boys in the morning.”

“They’ll be fine, Molly.” he laughed, shaking his head, “It’s going to be hard work when we get to America. Let them have some fun.”

Ron, intent on staying as far from his larger-than-life twin brothers, made his way into a corner, where both Hermione and Percy sat, facing in different directions, each with their nose in a book, “What are you doing once you get to America?” he asked absently, collapsing alongside Hermione. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to talk to her yet, but his sister had, and she’d seemed nice enough.

“I’d like to study.” she said coolly, bringing her drink to her lips, “Much like I’m trying to do now, thank you.”

Ron sat back on his haunches, taken about by her briskness, “I’m only trying to be friendly.”

She let out a labored sigh, closing her book, and turning to Ron, “You’ve got dirt on your nose, Mr. Weasley.” She licked her thumb then and smudged the mark away, causing him to blush deeply.

“Hermione,” Remus’s voice pulled her attention then, leaving Ron lonely once again, “I brought this for you,” he said, kneeling down before Hermione and holding the volume out for her, “I had meant for it to be a surprise once we’d got to America, but I don’t see why you can’t start on it now. If you’d like, I can help you with it tomorrow morning. Thumb through it on your own in the meantime.”

“Thank you.” she said with an excited smile, “Oh, I’ve been looking forward to this!”

“Latin?” Ron exclaimed, as he appraised the cover. He’d never had much more than basic education himself. Only his brother Percy had had the wherewithal to continue his education outside of the little his mother had taught them when they were young of basic reading and writing, “You can read Latin?”

“Well, I hope I’ll be able to after this.” she said with a shrug, leaving the book that she had originally been breezing through at her side, before opening her new one.

\---

“So...is Tonks a family name?” Ginny asked over the thrum of the music. She’d been curious about the young mother that they’d met on the dock since the moment she’d met her. She was hilarious, cursed like a sailor, and had very little control over her toddler son.

Tonks let out a chuckle, her hair flying as she shook her head, “It was my maiden name. My real name is Nymphadora, but I never much liked it. So, Tonks it was.”

“Ah.” she nodded.

Remus appeared behind Tonks a moment later, pressing a light kiss to her temple and pulling the squirming Teddy from her lap, “I think it’s about time for him to go down for the night, wouldn’t you say?” he murmured, rocking the little boy in his arms, and as Tonks went to stand he held up a hand, “No, no. You’re having fun. You stay out here and enjoy yourself. I’ll take care of Teddy.”

“Thank you.” she murmured, giving him a relieved smile as she relaxed back into her chair, “I’ve been running after that boy all day. It really takes it out of you.”

“I think he’s funny.” Ginny said with a shrug, “I’d be happy to watch him for a while, if you and Remus would – I don’t know – want to go enjoy the ship for a night.”

“You’d do that?”

“Sure, it’s not like I’ve got too much else on my plate until we get to where we’re going.” she said with a laugh.

\---

The music poured down the corridors as the three came closer to their goal, “We’re almost there.” Bill said, pushing a final door open to reveal a massive common area where music was piping loudly from a makeshift band in the corner.

A half dozen ginger heads turned as they made their way into the room, “Bill!” Mr. Weasley declared, coming to clap his son on the back, “We didn’t think you’d be down!”

“We come bearing gifts from above.” Bill said, thrusting all three of the champagne bottles at his father.

“Oh, look!” declared Fred, as he wandered up with his twin, “It’s his majesty. Come to see how the other half lives, have you?”

“What’s it like up there?” Ginny asked in wonder, “First class is remarkable, isn’t it?”

“It’s remarkably boring, to tell you the truth.” Bill chuckled, loosening his bow tie as he did, “I hope you don’t mind; I brought a friend to join in the festivities. This is-”

“Sirius Black.” Remus gasped, shaking his head with a wry smile, “Gracing the steerage with your presence?”

Sirius practically reeled back, the shock evident on his face. It took him a moment to regain his composure, a smile breaking, “Remus.” he said, opening his arms wide and walking toward the man, pulling him into a tight embrace, “It’s been...a long time.”

“Twenty years.” Remus agreed, shaking his head in amazement, “I didn’t know-”

“My godson, Harry,” Sirius murmured, motioning to the young man who’d been at his flank, “and I have business in New York. What are you-”

“We’re going for work.” he said.

“Do you...know each other?” Bill asked, pulling the two out of their reverie. They were becoming increasingly aware that they hadn’t let go of each other yet, which was certainly causing some eyebrows to raise.

“We knew each other when we were younger.” Sirius said, beaming, “It’s been years.”

“Well, come on, then. Pour yourselves a drink.” Mr. Weasley said, bringing the newcomers into the fray as the party recommenced, “Have a dance. Harry, you said his name was?” he asked, turning to Sirius.

“Yes. Harry.” Sirius replied, seeming dazed, “My godson.” he said, setting a hand on his shoulder.

“Yes, well, Harry. You look to be about to same age as my son Ron. Why don’t I introduce you?” he said, sweeping Harry away without another word.

Sirius’s chest felt as though it could burst, as years of memories from his adolescence came rushing back, all wrapping up in Remus – in that sandy hair, that scent, that deep, ringing voice.

“My God, I can’t believe it’s you.” Sirius mused, his head falling into his hands as he took a seat at an unoccupied table across from Remus, “You look...really good.”

Remus’s face blushed a deep crimson as he shook his head, “Thanks.” he chuckled, “You look well. The last time I saw you, you were a scrawny thing.”

“That is not funny.” Sirius said, though his own laughter betrayed him, “You’ve got no room to talk. When I saw you last you must have weighed a hundred pounds.”

“I was sick. You had no excuse.” he said, pausing for a moment to take in the man before him.

\---

_Sirius hadn’t seen Remus out in the garden for several days, though he dared not ask his parents where the beautiful boy with the sandy hair had gotten off to. He did, however, trust his sneaking abilities. So, in the dead of night, after he knew that both of his parents as well as the nanny had gone off to bed, he crept into the servant’s quarters where he knew he would find his target._

_“Remus?” he whispered, creeping around the corner._

_“What are you doing?” he murmured back, sitting up in bed as softly as possible, so as not to wake his father, who lay sleeping on the other side of the room, “You shouldn’t be here.” he sniffed as Sirius wrapped his arms around the boy’s small frame, pulling him into a tight hug, “We’ll both get in trouble. I could get you sick.”_

_“I don’t care.” Sirius shook his head, “I was worried about you. I hadn’t seen you in days. You don’t call. You don’t write.” he let out a chuckle, “How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?”_

_“It’s just a flu, Sirius. It’ll pass.” he laughed, as the other doted on him, “You don’t have to do this.” he said, as Sirius produced a bar of chocolate, “Where did you get that?”_

_“Kitchens.” he said with a shrug, “Cook won’t even notice it’s missing. Come on, share it with me.”_

_\---_

“It looks like your godson is hitting it off with Hermione.” Remus said, smiling as he watching the two, speaking animatedly about the new book she’d received only minutes earlier, “Looks like he’s having fun.”

“He deserves to have some fun.” Sirius said with a heavy sigh, “The boy has been through a lot.”

“I’ve seen.” Remus said, “Hermione, too. She hasn’t been able to make many friends. We move around a lot. I’m glad to see she’ll have someone her own age to talk to, while we’re here at least.”

Sirius nodded absently. As much as he wanted to be present, listening to Remus, he couldn’t help slipping into the past, into a time when they weren’t only two friends catching up after years apart, but best friends, lovers, and everything in between.

\---

_“Hey, come here, will you?” Sirius called, motioning to Remus from where he hid, just out of sight in the treeline._

_Remus’s eyes darted from side to side, ensuring that nobody was around, before putting down his garden shears and darting for the trees, where Sirius sat against an old oak, a devious smile on his face, “I really can’t keep taking breaks like this, Sirius. They’re going to start noticing.”_

_“Look what I’ve got.” Sirius sang, waving a chocolate bar in front of Remus’s earth-smearing face._

_He rolled his eyes before taking it appreciatively, “You can’t keep stealing from the kitchens.” he said, even as he unwrapped the chocolate bar._

_“I didn’t take it from the kitchens this time. Did you know that Nanny has a store of brandy and chocolate in her desk? I learned that today.” Sirius questioned, as he watched Remus break a piece off and slip it into his mouth with a crunch._

_After a moment’s silence, Sirius reached for Remus, pulling him down to the ground beside him, holding Remus tightly in an embrace. The younger snorted his surprise, but did not pull away, “What are you doing?”_

_“You have chocolate on your face.” Sirius murmured absently, his eyes dropping to the other boy’s lips._

_Remus froze, his realization donning, “Oh.” he choked out._

_“Can I get it for you?”_

_“I...yes.”_

_“I can?”_

_“Yes, you can.”_

_Sirius nodded, inching forward swiftly, eagerly, “Good.” he whispered, pressing his lips to Remus’s._

\---

“I was sorry to hear that your father passed.”

“Don’t be.” Sirius said coolly, “It was only a matter of time for him. He hadn’t been well for a while.”

“He left you Black and Sons, if I remember correctly?”

“He did.” Sirius nodded, “I try to stay as far away from that circus as possible, if I’m being honest. What about you, though, Remus? What have you been doing for the last twenty years?”

“You know,” he said with a shrug, “a little bit of this...little bit of that.”

“Very cryptic.” Sirius noted, eyeing him intently.

\---

_“What are you doing?” Remus cackled, as Sirius tackled him, pressed him into the bed with his entire weight as he pressed light kisses to Remus’s jaw, making quick work of their clothes._

_“I haven’t seen you in days. What do you think I’m doing?” Sirius whined, kissing still a further line down the boy’s chest, taking a nipple into his mouth, smiling as Remus crooned out his name, digging his fingers into Sirius’s hair._

_“Your nanny is going to hear us, Sirius. Stop.” Remus laughed as the elder boy continued his ministrations._

_Sirius peered up at Remus from just over his belly button, his eyes radiant, “That old bat can’t hear a thing.” he sneered, before shrugging and sitting up, breaking all contact, “Unless it’s not about that – and you just don’t want me to touch you?”_

_Remus shook his head frantically, reaching for Sirius as he did, “No, that’s not what I meant. I just-”_

_“You just what?” he murmured, burying his head in Remus’s shoulder as he ground into him eliciting a deep groan from both._

_“N-nothing.” Remus groaned, falling back into Sirius’s rhythm._

_\---_

“Are you going to introduce me to your friend?” Tonks questioned, wrapping her arms around Remus and pressing a kiss to his temple, “’M Tonks.” she said with a smile, extending a hand to Sirius.

“Right.” Remus murmured, his face suddenly flushing again as he turned back to Sirius. If he didn’t know any better Sirius would have sworn he saw a hint of embarrassment in those eyes, “Sirius, this is my wife. Tonks, this is Sirius Black.”

A pain began to bubble on Sirius’s gut. He couldn’t quite place it, but as the woman smiled at him and Remus’s arm looped around her waist, he couldn’t help but stand, eager to get away, “I – um – if you’ll excuse me. I’ll be back. I’m going to just go have a smoke.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm not a huge fan of this chapter, but it needed to be done to propel this hot mess onward, so please enjoy.

Sirius burst onto the promenade deck, his breathing heavy as he ran a hand through his hair. It was overwhelming, seeing Remus after all those years, married. He knew he was being ridiculous. In twenty years, it was entirely reasonable for Remus to have built a life for himself. Sirius felt, on top of everything else, angry at himself for not being happy for him and frustration at Remus for not having told him years ago that he had moved on.

“Sirius?” Fleur called from where she’d been lounging on a deck chair, watching the water, “Are you alright?” she asked, when she’d caught sight of his troubled face, “Come, sit.”

“No, I’m fine.” he murmured, waving a hand in dismissal.

She took a deep breath, pushing herself up from her seat and putting out the cigarette that she’d been holding, “I was not asking.” she said in a knowing voice, placing a hand on his shoulder, causing him to stop, “Your heart is racing, Sirius. You aren’t going to feel better until you sit down and rest.” she insisted, leading him to a deck chair before taking the one next to his. He took a deep breath, pressing his palms to his eyes before letting out a loud exhale, “Do you feel any better?”

“I don’t know how I’m feeling.” he admitted.

“Tell me what happened.” she murmured, leaning in, her elbows on her knees, “After you and my husband left me to my own devices-”

“Yeah, sorry for that, by the way.” he grumbled, shooting her a sideways glance.

Fleur shook her head, brushing him off, “Never mind that; you’re dodging my question. Tell me what happened. Here, take this.” she said, handing him a freshly lit cigarette.

He let out a low groan, letting his eyes fall closed as he focused on steadying his breathing, “I went down to third with Bill, and I just...there was someone down there that I recognized – from a long time ago.”

“An old friend?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

She nodded, her realization coming to her, “Ah, an old lover.” she mused. Though he didn’t respond she pushed onward, “Did it end badly?”

“No, nothing like that.” he said with a weak laugh, “It was just strange...seeing them with a new family and-”

“Sirius!” a new voice tore through the cold air, as Remus came ripping onto the promenade deck with the steward tight on his heels.

“I have called for the security, Sir.” the steward bellowed, even as Remus ran to Sirius, panting heavily from his sprint through the ship.

Sirius waved off the steward as he shrieked in dismay, “It’s alright, Mr. Latimer. He’s a friend.”

“But sir-”

“I’ll see him back down to third when we’re finished here. Thank you.”

Fleur looked between the two men, both of whom seemed to have been utterly dumbstruck by each other. With a heavy sigh she pushed herself to her feet once more, calling, “Mr. Latimer, I could use you, actually. It appears my room was missed on the turn down service. If you would be so kind-” Their voices floated off, leaving the two men in complete silence, alone with their thoughts.

“Are you mad at me?” Remus asked weakly, inching closer to Sirius as if he might explode at any moment.

He peered up at Remus, who swayed awkwardly from one foot to the other, shivering in the chill of the night, “I can’t be mad at you, Remus.” he sighed.

“I thought we might talk.” Remus whispered, taking the seat that Fleur had just vacated.

Sirius swallowed hard; he could hear his heart in his ears. It was incredible the effect that Remus’s voice had on him, “What do you want to talk about?”

“Well, to start, I think it’s important for me to make clear how much I’ve missed you.” he said, reaching for Sirius’s hand absently, “Twenty years was too long.”

“You could have written.” Sirius said simply, a fire kindling inside himself. He didn’t want to be angry, but part of him was, and it was because Remus was right. Twenty years _was_ too long. “You could have written when you decided to leave. You could have written when you were married. You could have written when your wife had any one of your two children, but you didn’t.”

“Sirius.” Remus gasped, his eyes fading with hurt as he pulled his hand back.

“Well? Why didn’t you?”

Remus shook his head, staring holes into the floor, “I didn’t know that you wanted to hear from me.”

“You didn’t-” Sirius sat up, his jaw clenched, “Remus, what did you think it meant when we gave each other these?” he questioned, pulling a small tin ring on a chain from its concealment underneath his shirt.

 

\---

 

_Two years. It’d been two years since Sirius had first laid eyes on Remus. Two years of a wild, secret affair that neither of them had been prepared for._

_The two boys twisted desperately, each wanting more of the other against him. Remus was the first to break for air, rolling away and collapsing into the pillows, laughing, “We have to stop.” he panted._

_“Why do we have to stop?” Sirius whined, peppering sloppy kisses anywhere he could reach, “I don’t want you to go.”_

_“Sirius, the sun’s about to come up, and I need to be in my bed when it does.” he sighed, pushing the elder away, though he clawed closer, causing Remus to laugh in exasperation, “I mean it, Sirius; I have to go.”_

_“I know you do.” he agreed, pulling his mate flat against the mattress and pushing his hair from his face, admiring every line it held. He leaned in and pressed one more shockingly chaste kiss to Remus’s lips before murmuring, “I love you.”_

_“Sirius, I mean it. I really need to-”_

_“Can you wait just one more minute, please? I have something for you.” Sirius insisted, reaching into the bedside table and pulling out two small tin rings, “I got these for you.”_

_Remus sat up, looking them over. He was perplexed. They were plain, a matching set, “What are they?”_

_“They’re rings, you fool.” Sirius chuckled, handing them both to Remus, “There’s one there for you. And there’s one for you to give to me...if you felt the inclination.”_

_The younger boy’s eyes grew wide as he realized what Sirius was getting at, “Oh.” he nodded, at a loss, as he rolled the two little rings over in his hand, “Sirius, we can’t really-”_

_“I know we can’t.” he insisted, “But...I saw them the last time I was in town and – I don’t know – I thought it might be nice to have. Just for the two of us. You don’t have to keep it if you don’t want it. It was just a thought – a stupid thought.”_

_“No.” Remus said, shaking his head and taking hold of Sirius’s face between his hands. Tears were building in the corners of his eyes, but he fought to keep his features neutral, “I want you to put it on for me.” he said, shoving one of the rings clumsily back at Sirius with shaking fingers._

_Sirius couldn’t help the stupid smile plastered across his face as he reached for Remus’s hand, sliding the ring on and kissing his fingertips, “Now do me.” he said, holding his hand out expectantly._

_“You can’t wear this.” Remus said, shaking his head as he looked down at the second ring, “People would question.”_

_Naturally, he was right, of course. It only took Sirius a moment to think up a solution though, and he turned to dig through the bedside drawer once more, coming back up a moment later with a long-forgotten necklace bearing his family crest, “How about this?” he murmured, pulling the crest free and knotting the ring into the chain in its place, “No one will ever know.” Sirius said, pulling the chain over his head, letting the ring fall to his chest._

_“What do they mean for us?” Remus asked, admiring his ring. It was simple and plain, but it was shared between them – something that they hadn’t had before, “If they’re not to be used in the traditional sense?”_

_“You’re mine. I’m yours. The normal stuff.” Sirius mused, tracing Remus’s features absently._

_Remus looked in disbelief between the ring that he now wore and then the chain dangling around his mate’s neck, “I love you.” he said, shaking his head in astonishment, before pressing his lips to Sirius’s one final time, “I love you, but I still have to go.” he said plainly, pushing himself from the bed and beginning to dress._

 

_\---_

 

 _“_ You still have that old thing? _”_ Remus remarked in surprise.

“I didn’t forget.”

“I didn’t either, Sirius.” Remus grumbled, running his hand through his hair haphazardly, “I haven’t forgotten any of it.”

“I was so mad at you for so long.” Sirius admitted, “For years, I think. You just left in the middle of the night. Not even your own father knew where you’d gone. I was scared for you and then I was angry and now...now I don’t know what I feel. But seeing you – no, not even you – seeing you with your  _wife_ – it brought it all back to the surface.”

“I could give you the explanation, Sirius, but I promise you wouldn’t like it.”

Sirius let out a bitter laugh, “I can assure you there is not a single part of this that I _like._ ”

“Your mother blackmailed me.” he said weakly, “She’d found out – I don’t know how – and she pulled me in one day. She gave me a week’s wages and told me that I had to leave. And if I chose to stay or to keep in touch, she’d make my entire family unemployable that side of the Atlantic. I had a choice to make, Sirius, and my father needed that job. He was getting on in age and I just...couldn’t allow myself to be the reason that he would be put out on the street.”

“My mother-” Sirius spat, shaking his head. A thousand emotions were pulsing through him all at once, but when he looked to Remus once again, his face had at least softened, “You left to protect your father?”

Remus nodded frantically, wiping a single tear from his cheek, “I wouldn’t have done otherwise.”

It was then that Sirius realized that Remus had been shaking with cold. He jumped to his feet, offering a hand out to Remus, “You’re freezing.” he stated plainly.

“What? No I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.” Sirius said, pointedly, dragging the other to his feet, “We’ll go back to my quarters and talk there.”

 

\---

 

“My beautiful wife!” Bill bellowed, stretching his arms out for Fleur as he teetered on the spot, clearly inebriated.

“Did you leave her up there all on her own?” Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, swatting at Bill’s arm as Fleur helped to steady him.

“It’s alright, Molly.” Fleur said, struggling under his weights as he swayed, “How much has he had to drink?” she questioned, caught somewhere between amusement and concern.

“I don’t know. Why don’t you ask those two?” Mrs. Weasley grumbled, pointing to where Fred and George sat sprawled on the floor, an empty champagne bottle between them and a dazed look in their eyes, “The three of them have been going drink for drink for hours.”

“I’m sorry, dear.” Mr. Weasley groaned apologetically, as he hoisted one of the twins off, dragging him toward the sleeping quarters, “I really thought they’d be able to handle it.”

“They don’t pay attention to me.” Mrs. Weasley sighed, shaking her head dismissively, “No one ever does.”

Bill was beginning to teeter so incessantly that Fleur was having trouble balancing him. It looked as though he was going to nod off at any moment, “He needs to lie down. I won’t be able to make it back up to our rooms with him like this.” she conceded.

“You can bring him into mine.” Tonks piped up, running over and slinging Bill’s other arm over her shoulders, “Remus hasn’t shown back up yet, so we can set him up there.”

They struggled under his weight, dragging him the few feet to bed before dropping him onto the mattress with enough gusto to wake the sleeping Teddy. Fleur shook her head exhaustedly, lifting the baby from his cradle, “Oh, I’m sorry.” she cooed, rocking the baby back and forth, until he had fallen back to sleep.

Tonks watched on in amazement, as Fleur got Teddy back to sleep, setting him back into his crib gently, “That’s incredible.” she cheered, in a nearly unintelligible whisper, so as not to reawaken the sleeping beast, “Remus and I can never get him to go down that easy.”

“Is he yours?” Fleur asked as they stepped out of the room, closing the door softly behind them, “He’s a beautiful little boy.”

“Yeah, he is.” Tonks said, blushing, “He’s incredible when he’s not being completely unbearable.” she caught herself the moment the words had fallen from her mouth and her eyes went wide, “I didn’t mean that. Of course I didn’t mean that.”

Fleur let out a laugh, finding the girl’s fluster hilarious, “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself. Parenting is exhausting.”

“Do you have one?” Tonks asked.

“No, but my husband’s mother has seven and each one’s more outlandish than the last.” she said, “So I can imagine. Fleur, by the way.” she said.

“Tonks.” the elder replied with a great yawn.

They made their way back out into the common area, sitting at one of the many now-vacant tables, “Aren’t you tired?” Fleur asked.

“Yes, but Teddy hasn’t slept this long in months. I’m not used to talking to another adult without him on my hip and I don’t want it to end just yet.” she admitted.

 

\---

 

“Tell me about that wife of yours.” Sirius said with a tinge of a smile as he poured Remus a drink, “Tonks, is it?”

“Oh,” Remus said with a sad smile, “She’s just a friend.”

Sirius’s brow quirked in amusement, “Just a friend...who’s also your wife?”

“It’s not like that, though.” he insisted, “We met while working at the same home in Oxford. We were friends – best friends. She was like me, so she understood what it’s like-”

“She fancies women?”

“Yes and men, but that's besides the point,” Remus said impatiently, plowing onward, “Her parents were breathing down her neck and I was in a position to help."

"But do you like her?" Sirius asked in surprise. Even for the ever martyring Remus it seemed like a huge leap to marry a person he couldn't love.

"We've made arrangements that suit each of us." he said, skirting around the subject, "It’s been about a year and a half now. And we’re good to have done because a few months ago Hermione’s parents, other friends of ours, died in a horrible accident and she had no family to speak of so we took her in.”

“So Hermione isn’t your daughter.”

“She’s as good as.” he said plainly, “Teddy is mine, since I know that was going to be your next question. Tonks wanted a baby and I wasn’t...opposed to the idea. This is all just making you angrier, isn’t it?”

“Why would I be angry about that?” Sirius asked, an exhausted smile creeping across his face as he sat down, a hand resting on Remus’s knee, “You took a girl in who needed a home. You wanted a baby, and you made it happen. You’ve really lived. I can’t fault you for living.”

“So you-”

“Remus,” Sirius sighed, turning to face him, taking the drink from his hand and setting it on the side table, “we’re only going to be on this ship for seven days. I don’t want to waste those days fighting with you, or mad at you, or not talking to you.” he said, bring his hand up to cup Remus’s cheek, “Your wife...” he said with a hint of humor tinging his voice, “she isn’t the kind of _friend_ that would get mad if I kissed you right now, is she?”

“Stop that.” Remus groaned, covering the space separating them in mere moments, bringing his lips to Sirius’s without another moment’s hesitation.


	4. Chapter 4

“I think I should be making my way back downstairs.” Remus murmured, though he did not make an effort to move, sprawled out on the couch, his head in Sirius’s lap, “Look, it’s morning.” he groaned, turning to watch through the window as the sun peeked over the horizon, “I’m sure Harry will be coming back any minute and I should be gone when he does.”

“ _No._ ” Sirius grumbled, holding Remus in place as he tried to squirm out of his grip, “Please don’t leave. Have breakfast with me.”

Remus barked out a disbelieving laugh, “That steward will have an eye out for me, I’m sure. Imagine the look on his face if you were to march me into the first class saloon. No thank you.” Sirius shook his head, beaming with laughter as Remus pushed himself up into a seated position, “Besides, I told Hermione I would help her with her Latin work this morning. Shouldn’t keep her waiting.”

“Good man.” Sirius murmured, leaning in for one more kiss, running a his fingers down Remus’s jaw dejectedly, “Will you come see me again?”

“I plan on it.” Remus mumbled, a blush creeping over his face as he searched the floor for his missing clothing, “You haven’t seen my jacket, have you?”

“That isn’t it over there, is it?” Sirius said with a cheeky smile, pointing to a lampshade that had been encapsulated in a lumpy mass of brown material.

“You’re impossible, you know that?” he chuckled, his eyes downcast as he went to go procure the last of his things, “I’ll see you.” he said finally, darting for the door.

“Tonight?”

“We’ll see.”

 

\---

 

Tonks rolled over with a deep sigh, the smell of breakfast filling her nostrils, “Good morning.” Fleur’s voice flooded over her like a wave, encouraging her to open her eyes, “I brought you breakfast. I hope that’s alright.” she said plainly, pushing a plate toward Tonks with one hand while still rocking Teddy with the other, “You missed the mealtime, but I thought you might need the sleep.”

“Did you – did you stay down here all night?” Tonks asked, sitting up and eyeing the plate in front of her.

“I wanted to stay until my husband woke up, so I could give him my thoughts on his behavior last night,” she said with a laugh, “But after I sent him back to our quarters, I stayed to watch over Teddy while you slept. He has been fed, diapered, and he played until he fell asleep. I think he’ll be down for a while.”

“My God, you’re a miracle worker.” Tonks said through a full mouth, “You really didn’t have to. Thank you.”

“I know I didn’t have to.” she said with a shrug, “I wanted to.”

“How’s Bill feeling?” she asked, continuing to eat with abandon, “He really wasn’t in a good way last night, was he?”

“And he heard it from me and his mother this morning.” Fleur said with a laugh, “I think he’ll be down for the rest of the day. Speaking of which, we were invited to a shuffleboard tournament by the Astors later on this afternoon, if you’d care to join us.”

“Join you? I can’t imagine they want the likes of me-”

“Oh, tosh.” Fleur said, waving a hand dismissively, “I’ll give you something of mine to wear; they’ll never know the difference. It will only be a couple of hours and then you can be on your way. Just think about it, will you? I think it could be fun.”

“Yeah,” Tonks nodded, a smile spreading across her face as she pushed her empty plate aside, “Yeah, okay; I’ll think about it.”

 

\---

 

“Wake up, you three.” a steward called, giving Ron a jab in the side, “This ain’t yer deck – Master Potter!” he exclaimed, practically leaping back at the sight of the three teenagers asleep in a pile underneath of one of the deck tables, “Beggin’ yer pardon. I hadn’t seen you there, Master Potter.”

“Did we fall asleep up here?” Ron murmured in amusement, looking out along the promenade deck where first and second class passengers were meandering along on their morning strolls, “Bloody hell, we’ve missed our breakfast, Hermione.”

“Is that really all you’re worried about?” she groaned, rubbing her eyes tiredly, “Your parents are probably worried sick. I was supposed to be in class with Remus this morning. And Harry, your godfather-”

“He’ll be fine.” Harry said dismissively, standing and falling into step alongside Hermione and Ron, “Mind if I join you?”

“Blimey, mate.” Ron laughed, flinging an arm around Harry’s shoulders, “You’ve got everything up there in first class. Why don’t you go enjoy it?”

“I don’t really want to, if I’m to be honest.” Harry shrugged, “I like you two. I like your families. I’d rather be down below then up there,” Harry drew himself up tall, casting a mockingly haughty gaze around the corridor, “with the leisure class.”

Hermione and Ron let out screams of laughter as Harry marched about in a bad impression of the stewards in the dining saloon, “They’ve all got to be fawning over you, mate.” Ron pointed out, once their uproarious laughter had subsided, “You’re Harry Potter! You’re famous!”

Harry dropped his act quickly at this, his face falling, “I’m only famous for surviving the crash that killed my parents, so I prefer not to think about it.” he admitted, “It doesn’t help that my godfather’s gone and booked us passage on the _best_ ship with the most _lavish_ accommodation. I don’t want to think about it anymore and it doesn’t help it to be up there with all of those people who want to give me their condolences and tell me about how _wonderful_ my parents were.”

“I understand.” Hermione said weakly, after a few moments of struck silence, “I lost my parents earlier this year as well. An accident on a fishing boat.”

Harry and Hermione walked along in silence for the length of the corridor, until Ron’s voice broke, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know how you manage.”

“You just have to.” Harry said simply.

“And I have Remus and Tonks and Teddy, haven’t I? It’s not as though I’m alone.” Hermione explained.

“And I’ve got Sirius.” Harry said with a shrug, “We’re not going it alone. There’s no need for the pity.” he said with a half smile.

They shoved through the door to the common area then, where Mrs. Weasley was already out and knitting while Percy sat at a table with his nose in his book and Remus and Tonks fussed over Teddy, trying to get him to sit still for a hair brushing.

“There you are!” Mrs. Weasley shouted, her knitting falling to the table beside her as she rushed over to the trio, “Ronald Weasley, you’re filthy. Where have you been?”

“Out on deck with Hermione and Harry, Mum.” he said, trying his best to sound innocent, though his mischievous eyes deceived him.

“Oh, you’re all three filthy. Go have a quick wash and then go see to your brothers. I suspect they’re not in a good way this morning. They haven’t budged since your father dragged them to their beds last night and they may need some water.” Hermione and Ron rushed off under her beady gaze, but Harry hadn’t moved, which caused her to turn on him as well, “You too, son.” she declared, snapping her fingers at him, “Be quick about it.”

Harry felt a pang of affection for the woman who had appeared to be Ron’s mother. She’d known that he wasn’t hers to instruct. She probably knew that he didn’t belong in the steerage compartment at all, but there she was, directing him in the way his own mother had when he’d come in from a day of outdoor play in his childhood.

“Hermione!” Remus smiled, extending an arm to her, taking her a side hug, when she’d finally reemerged clean from the washroom, “I was starting to think you’d decided to skip your lesson this morning.” he said, as she took her seat across from him, “Shall we start at the beginning?”

“Harry, look what I’ve just found in George’s bag.” Ron said, running out of the room that he and his three brothers shared with a thin wooden board and a bag of clanky pieces, “It’s a chess set. Do you know how to play?”

“Yeah, I do.” he said with a smile, as Ron dumped the pieces onto a table in the far corner of the room, “My Dad taught me when I was little, but I haven’t played in years.”

“Let’s have a match.” Ron said, sitting across from Harry, “I’ll have to warn you though, mate, I’m very good.”

 

\---

 

“I was hoping you would come.” Fleur said excitedly, allowing her new friend into her quarters, with a sneaky smile, “How did you get up here? I thought I’d have to come get you.”

“Nah, I snuck up when all of the stewards were busy with the second class service. What’s the plan?” she asked, looking around the great room in admiration, “I think your room must be bigger than the last house I worked for.” she said absently, spinning in circles, admiring the architecture of the vaulted ceilings and the silk curtains.

“We’re going to make you look like a proper lady.” Fleur said excitedly, dragging Tonks through the bedroom and to the wardrobe.

Only feet away lay Bill, a pillow over his head in an attempt to block out the afternoon sun, groaning as the door swung closed behind the two women, “Is he going to be alright?” Tonks asked, concern evident.

“He’ll be fine. Never mind him. He’ll nod off in a few minutes.” Fleur insisted, brushing him off, “I’d say you look about my size.” she said, walking a circle around Tonks contemplatively, “Why don’t you just look through,” she pulled the wardrobe open, revealing several different dresses, “and take your pick. Any one of them should work for the occasion.”

Tonks’s eyes lit up in a way Fleur had not yet seen, “They’re lovely.” she said, reaching in and pulling out the first thing her fingers landed on, a blue evening gown, “Can I try it?” Tonks asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Take off what you have and step into this one. I’ll help you get it on.” Fleur said, laying the gown out across the chaise, “It’s really more of a two-person job.” she continued, when Tonks gave her an incredulous look.

She made quick work of her old dress, flinging it over the back of the wardrobe, before stepping into the new gown that Fleur had pooled at her feet, “Hold the dress with one hand and the bedpost with the other. I’m going to cinch you in.” Fleur mused, pulling at the strings at the gown’s back with all her strength.

“Bloody hell,” Tonks choked, jumping at the sudden pressure, “it’s going to squeeze the life out of me.”

“That means it’s working.” Fleur dismissed, continuing on in her role under the dress was completely in place. She then took a step back to admire her work, “Turn to me.” she instructed, her head tilted to the side as she analyzed Tonks, “You look stunning.” Fleur remarked with a shrug of her shoulders and a softening of her eyes, “How do you feel?”

“I don’t feel like myself.” she murmured awkwardly, teetering as she turned to face Fleur fully, “I feel like a little girl playing dress up.”

Fleur shook her head, taking Fleur’s hand and leading her to the full length mirror in the corner, “Look at you!” she mused, brushing out the wrinkles in the skirt, “You look incredible, Tonks.”

As the girl laid eyes on herself, a smile began to form on her lips. She turned in all directions to get the view of every angle, a laugh escaping her lips, “I do look nice, don’t I?”

“So you’ll wear it.” Fleur said definitively, plopping a matching hat onto Tonks’s head, “You’re beautiful, darling.” she murmured, gazing into the mirror for one final moment before her attentions were elsewhere, “Good. Right. So we’ll be going. We do need to get a move on or we’ll miss the beginning. There are shoes in the wardrobe that you can wear. _Bill-_ ” she snapped, in a vein not dissimilar to that of her mother-in-law, “Bill, wake up. Are you coming with us or no?”

Only a labored groan of discomfort met her, which she didn’t seem to take too much heed in, “Looks like he’ll be staying in.” she said, reaching for her purse and parasol before marching for the door with Tonks tight on her heels.

 

\---

 

Sirius had been enjoying a quiet afternoon, scotch in hand while reading a new book when a knock rang out through the room, drawing his attention. He was sure he hadn’t ordered anything; he’d shaken off the steward who had been adamant about his turn down service on the first night of the voyage, too, so he couldn’t imagine who would be at the door.

“It’s me.” a soft voice came from the other side, causing Sirius a jolt.

He dropped his drink and padded to the door, opening it only a few inches before Remus slid inside, a devious smile on his face, “I thought you weren’t going to be by until after the kids had gone to bed.” he said with surprise, as Remus wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him into a hungry kiss, “It’s barely noon.”

“Would you rather I came back later?” Remus asked, though without waiting even a moment for Sirius to respond before grabbing the front of his shirt and leading him off with one hand to the bedroom.

“No, I wouldn’t prefer that, funnily enough. But you were the one that said-”

“I know that’s what I said, but Harry’s occupied downstairs with the Weasleys. Teddy’s down for his nap. And I didn’t want to wait. Now strip off.” he commanded, casually sprawling out across Sirius’s bed as he pulled his own tie loose.

“Ah,” Sirius said with a nod, as he began making quick work of his clothes, “so _you're_ the one who’s giving _me_ orders, are you?”

“Looks that way from where I’m sitting.” Remus replied with a shrug, watching hungrily as Sirius shed his layers, leaving the chain around his neck for the last, “No.” Remus interjected, shaking his head as Sirius’s fingers dropped from the pendant, “I want you to leave that on.”

 

\---

 

“So over there,” Fleur murmured under her breath, pointing over her shoulder at an older man and a young, heavily pregnant woman carrying a parasol, “that’s Colonel John Jacob Astor and his wife Madeleine. And to their-” she peaked over her shoulder to orient herself, “-left is George and Miriam Widener. Rumor has it that they’re the ones to beat.”

“If you want to win, I think you should pick a different partner.” Tonks admitted hesitantly, “I’ve never played shuffleboard. I couldn’t even tell you how to start.”

“Oh, it’s easy.” Fleur insisted, “We’ll have the blue pucks. They’ll have the red and all you have to do is earn the most points. It’s nothing to worry about.”

“I’m going to make a fool out of both of-”

“Mrs. Weasley!” a cheery voice exclaimed, as a hand crept onto her shoulder. For one second, Tonks could’ve sworn she saw annoyance glance across Fleur’s face, before she lit up and turned on a dime to the older woman who had interrupted them.

“Mrs. Thayer.” she said with a sweet smile, leaning in to kiss both of the woman’s cheeks, “Are you participating this afternoon?”

Mrs. Thayer let out a roar of laughter, shaking her head as if it were the silliest thing she’d ever heard, “Hardly. My boys are, though, so I’m here to cheer them on, of course.” she said, waving to the two men, one of which was obviously her husband, the boy next to him her husband’s spitting image, “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?”

Fleur turned to Tonks then, her eyes alight as she led her forward by the elbow, “Of course. This is Mrs.-”

“Nymphadora Tonks.” Tonks interjected, extending a hand in greeting, with a smile so wide Fleur could’ve guessed that she was actually excited to be making the acquaintance of the old bat.

“I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure.”

“No, we haven’t. If you don’t mind, though, the tournament is about to begin, and Fleur and I _will_ be taking part.”

With a nod, Tonks and Fleur parted ways with Mrs. Thayer, and once they were out of earshot, Fleur burst into a fit of giggles, only able to conceal it with her gloved hand, “I can’t believe you’ve just shirked one of the most powerful women in America.”

“We’re not in America yet, so frankly, I don’t see why I should give a rat’s arse.” Tonks cackled back, before queuing for their turn in the game.

A few minutes later the game was well underway and Tonks stood with her last puck, feeling as the crowd pressed in around her, “Now all you have to do,” Fleur assured, as she whispered into Tonks’s ear over her shoulder, “is aim for Mr. Astor’s puck there.” she said, pointing to it, “Get that puck off the board and we’ve won the game.”

Tonks closed her eyes and shot the puck, only opening them again when Fleur gripping her arm and began jumping behind her, “Good girl!” she exclaimed, pulling Tonks face to her with one hand and pressing a kiss to her cheek, causing Tonks to blush a bright crimson “We won! You were brilliant!”

 

\---

 

“I really don’t see how you could have misplaced your glasses, Harry.” Hermione said coolly, as she followed Ron and Harry around the third class general room, looking under tables and behind chairs, “Honestly, can’t you just recall the last time you looked at something without it being a blur? That would make this much easier.” she remarked, pulling up the table linen.

“Come to think of it, Harry,” Ron said, out of breath from crawling underneath the breakfast bar, “I didn’t know you wore glasses. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in them!”

“So they must be in your quarters.” Hermione said, as Teddy began to cry from inside their sleeping quarters, “Why don’t you go check where we fell asleep last night, Ron, just for good measure. I’ll tend to Teddy.”

They all nodded their agreement before darting off in different directions. Harry marched to the lift, tipping the operator before stepping out onto the B deck. It was the first time he’d been back since the ship had left the dock and he wasn’t entirely sure how to find his way back. All of the door looked remarkably similar and the corridor seemed to be never-ending.

Winding down several hallways, Harry finally found himself down a corridor with a chandelier that he recognized. Then, with a sigh of relief, he realized that he stood in front of room B40, only a few down from his own stateroom. When he did finally make it to the door, he never thought he’d be so relieved to see the place. He flung the door open and immediately began searching for his glasses, beginning in his own luggage, but no sign.

He searched under chairs, behind the chaise loungers, and around the couch and its side tables, before realizing the only room he had not searched had been that of his godfather. _Perhaps the bellboy put them there by mistake._ he thought to himself as he made his way to the door, shoving it open without a moment’s hesitation.

“Christ _._ ” his godfather gasped, his eyes shooting to Harry as he shoved Remus away, rolling frantically so as to conceal both of them with the duvet.

“Sirius, you can’t just-” then Remus’s eyes fell on Harry, horror donning his face, “Oh my God.” he groaned in horror, burying his humiliated face in a pillow.

Harry’s eyes were like lasers, cold and focused, “Bloody hell. You’ve got to be joking.” he spat, before turning on the spot and storming off.

“Harry!” Sirius called after him, reaching for a robe before darting from the room, “Harry, stop!” he plead, Harry only feet away from the exit now, “I’m sorry.”

He froze with his hand on the door knob, his eye ablaze as he turned back to Sirius, “Is that really why you wanted to take this trip? Because I really don’t understand why you had to drag me along if you were just in it for some torrid affair.” he asked coolly.

“Harry, no. It’s not like that.” Sirius said, hand held out as if he were trying to convince a timid animal.

“Then please,” he bellowed, “explain to me _what it’s like._ ”

“We knew each other,” Sirius continued, trying to keep his voice calm, even, “We were very close and seeing him again-”

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

“Sorry?”

“For Christ’s sake, Sirius. I could not give a rat’s ass if you fancy men. But you...” Harry shook his head, tears building in his eyes, “You’re having the time of your life on this ship, aren’t you?” he snapped, “You couldn’t care less that the reason we’re going to America is because my parents _are dead._ ”

A stunned silence befell Sirius then. He hadn’t realized, “Harry-”

“You know I didn’t want this.” he shook his head, tears freely falling, “I don’t want their inheritance. I don’t care how much money it is! But here you are forcing me to do this and having a blast in the meanwhile.”

“I’ve explained it to you, Harry. If we don’t go to claim your inheritance the bank would take it and it is a very sizable sum that your parents left.”

“I – don’t – _want it!_ ” Harry snapped, “I don’t want anymore reminders of them. I don’t want it. I don’t need it. And yet, here we are.”

“That inheritance is your birthright, Harry. Your parents wanted you to have it.”

Harry fell silent then. He could see then that he wasn’t going to be able to make his godfather see reason. He took a shaky breath to steady himself and wiped his tear-stained face on his sleeve, “If you see my glasses, you can leave them on my night table.” he said coolly before pulling the door open and taking off down the corridor.


	5. Chapter 5

"Sirius, I don’t know if you should go after him.” Remus warned, coming from the bedroom, back to a decent state of dress, “Maybe you should let him cool off for a few minutes before chasing him down, I mean.”

 “He’s right.” Sirius groaned weakly, collapsing onto the couch with his head in his hands, “They boy’s been shuffled around so much the last few months...I didn’t even think. He was just finding normalcy when I got the notice about his inheritance. He said he didn’t want it and I just completely brushed him off.”

 “He’s mourning.” Remus murmured, sliding an arm around Sirius’s shoulders to comfort him, “He’ll be in better spirits when we dock, I’m sure.”

 “I shouldn’t have brought him on this trip at all. I should have known he would want nothing to do with America after what happened to his parents in New York. He said he didn’t want anything to do with the money. I should have listen. I never...I never listen.”

“You made the right decision, I think. He’ll thank you for it one day.”

Sirius shook his head, his eyes falling on Remus, “He could. Or he could grow to resent me for this.” he conceded, wiping a tear from his cheek, “He’s my kid, Remus. I should have realized how miserable this would make him.”

“Come here.” Remus sighed, pulling Sirius tight again his chest, running a hand through his hair comfortingly, “You’ll be back to England in less than two weeks. You’ll both feel better once you’re back home.”

 

\---

 

“I think someone wants their mother.” Ginny called, scrambling over to Tonks and Fleur with a squabbling Teddy in tow, “He’s been screaming for you.”

“Has he, really?” Tonks cooed, and as she hoisted the little boy off the floor he squealed merrily, “Have you missed me, love?” she asked, pressing a kiss to his cheek, causing him to wail with laughter.

“What’s that you’re wearing?” Ginny exclaimed, admiring the blue evening gown that Tonks had long since forgotten about, “You look like a queen, Tonks.”

“She does, doesn’t she?” Fleur mused, watching in amusement as Tonks blushed crimson.

“Thank you, you two.” she chuckled, shaking her head, “but I think I’ll change.”

“No,” Fleur whined, “why? I thought we were having fun.”

“It was fun, Fleur, really,” Tonks insisted, “but I’d rather not let Teddy crawl all over your beautiful dress. Also, I haven’t taken a normal breath in hours. I’m starting to forget what that’s like. Will you help me out of it?”

Fleur let out a resigned sigh, taking one last look at the beauty that was Tonks, “I suppose so.”

“I’ll take him back.” Ginny said, pulling Teddy free from Tonks’s arms.

Tonks and Fleur strode off then, disappearing behind the door to Tonks’s quarters, “Thanks for your help.” Tonks said with a small smile as she pulled the midnight blue hat from atop her head, setting it across her bed. She dug through her own trunk then, pulling out a skirt and blouse and a pair of boots, throwing them all to the floor in a heap and breathing a sigh of relief as the strings on her corset became increasingly looser.

“It’s no trouble.” she murmured, collecting the dress over the arm after Tonks had stepped out of it and began to dress, “Darling, your hair.” Fleur mused, getting her first good look at Tonks as the latter began buckling her boots, “That hat did a number.” she cackled.

“I promise you I’ve looked worse.” Tonks said absently, finishing her dressing and standing then, brushing herself off, “How do I look?”

Fleur couldn’t help but smile, “Much more yourself.” Her eyes fell to the hairbrush sitting on the nightstand, “Could I fix your hair, please?”

“If you’d like.” Tonks said with a shrug, smiling as Fleur settled behind her, running her fingers through her hair.

A comfortable silence fell between them, as Tonks’s hair was sectioned and brushed and then placed in a plait down her back, “There you are.” Fleur said with finality, holding up a hand mirror.

Tonks turned this way and that, admiring her new hairstyle, “It’s lovely.”

“I haven’t done another person’s hair before. I was wondering what it would be like.” Fleur said pointedly, admiring her work, “I don’t think it’s half bad.”

“You’ve never brushed another person’s hair?” Tonks asked in disbelief, swiveling to face Fleur.

“No.” Fleur replied with a shrug, “I never had a sister or any girlfriends to speak of, so I just never got to.”

Tonks’s expression faltered, a sudden pang of sadness emanating, “I’m sure you had to have had some friends.”

“I’m not sure if you’ve been able to tell, but some people seem to think I’m a bit much. I really didn’t.”

Tonks let out a sad laugh, plastering a smile onto her face and leaping to her feet, “Well now you have.” she remarked simply, “I think I might take Teddy up above for some fresh air before dinner. Would you join us?”

 

\---

 

Remus and Sirius stepped out onto the poop deck, breathing in the chilly evening air, “Want one?” Sirius asked, pulling out two cigarettes and handing one to Remus.

“Please.” he sighed appreciatively, taking it holding it between his lips waiting for a light. He leaned against the banister, looking out over the sea. There was nothing but ocean in all directions, “Have you thought about what you’re going to say to Harry?”

Sirius let out a belabored sighed, shaking his head, “I haven’t even decided if I’m going to say anything to Harry. Maybe I should wait until we get to America to discuss all of this.”

“So you’re going to give him five more days to stew?” Remus asked with a quirked eyebrow, “I don’t claim to be an expert in parenting, Sirius, but that doesn’t seem like the best plan.”

“What do you suggest, then?”

Remus took a drag from his cigarette, releasing the smoke through his nose, “After supper. You both will have had the better part of the day to think things over, but it’s not too much time. I say you do it then. The biggest reason he’s frustrated, judging by what I heard, is that he doesn’t think you’re hearing him. So…perhaps...you should say less and let him do most of the talking?”

“I’ve never talked to him about what happened to his parents, Remus. I don’t know if I can-”

“Of course you can.” Remus said simply, “You can because you have to. He wants you to talk to him about this.”

“How could you know that?” Sirius questioned incredulously.

“Hermione was the same when we took her in. She didn’t want to talk about it...until she did.” he shrugged, “It’s part of being a parent, Sirius. There are conversations that you aren’t going to want to have, but you still have to have them.”

“You’re right. I’ll do it tonight.” Sirius chuckled, reaching for Remus hand as he rested his head on the other man’s shoulder.

“Good evening, boys!”

Sirius and Remus practically propelled away from each other and Sirius whirled on the spot to face the oncoming pair, “You don’t have to put on airs for us, Sirius. I know what you two have been getting up to.” Tonks’s singsong voice called, as she and Fleur joined them at the railing.

“You told her?” Sirius guffawed, his eyes narrowing at Remus who began to blush.

“Of course he did.” she replied simply, a smug smile on her face, “I’m his wife. You expect him not to tell me about his conquests?”

“Yeah, honestly; I did expect that.” he grumbled, a tinge of pink rising in his cheeks.

“Hate to break it to you, then,” she continued, her eyes sparkling. She was clearly loving how uncomfortable she was making him, “but we’re very open about these things.”

“We didn’t come down here to poke fun at you, Sirius.” Fleur said between giggles, jabbing Tonks in the ribs, “We came down to ask if you two were going to join us for dinner tonight. We were thinking after a poker match might be in order.”

Sirius let out a sigh, flicking the end of his cigarette of the edge off the ship, “No, I’m afraid Harry will be down below tonight. I figure I should give him some space.”

“Is he alright?” Fleur asked, resting on the railing as she turned to face him, “Has he fallen ill?”

“No. No, nothing like that. We just...there’s a heavy conversation we’re going to have to have tonight and he should be able to have fun with his friends without me infringing...before that happens.”

“Well, if you’ll be staying up above, I suppose I should as well.” Fleur said, seemingly unimpressed with the idea, “Tonks, would you-”

“No, I don’t think I will. In fact, I think it might be smart for Remus and I both to go down below. I’m afraid Teddy won’t remember us by the time we dock with all the time we’re spending up top.”

“Right you are.” Remus agreed with a sheepish smile, taking a look at his watch, “In fact, we’d better be going.” He turned to Sirius then, pressing a kiss to his cheek, “I’ll see you later tonight.”

Sirius grabbed for his arm as Remus turned to leave, “I think it might be helpful to have you there, Remus-”

"No, you need to have that conversation with Harry and Harry only.” he said plainly, a sad smile on his face, “I’ll see you later tonight. Tell me about it then.”

 

\---

 

Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat around a table in the third class general room, their game of cards only drawing the slightest bit of their attention. Harry’s head had been spinning since the afternoon and he felt as though he were about to burst from the information that he held, as well as the anger that still ebbed just below the surface.

“So,” Hermione murmured, throwing her playing cards down on the table, as she pressed her hands to her temples and tried her best to compute what Harry was telling her, “Your godfather...a – and Remus–”

“Yeah.” Harry nodded, “I went in looking for my glasses and it was just – there.”

“But they were-”

“Yeah.” His face scrunched then as the memory came flooding back.

“Bloody hell.” Ron guffawed, “But that’s-”

“I know.” Harry insisted, his voice harsh.

“And I’m sure he’d rather not talk about it anymore than he already has.” Hermione said pointedly, staring down both of the boys in front of her, “We shouldn’t be talking about this, not when one of them could come walking by at any second. And have you still not find your glasses?”

Harry couldn’t help but roll his eyes, “No, Hermione. Surprisingly enough, I was a little bit caught up by other things, wasn’t I?”

Her eyes swiveled this way and that, a blush creeping into her face, “Oh. Right.”

“Would you two stop it this instant?” Mrs. Weasley’s voice called, as the rest of her brood came scorching around the corner, Fred and George tossing the book that Percy had been reading back and forth, just out of his reach.

“Dear old Percy’s been reading fairy tales, Mum.” Fred cackled, as he tossed Percy’s book back to George.

“Surely you didn’t think we weren’t going to give him any stick for it, did you?” George berated.

“It’s not mine.” Percy snapped, diving for it once more, but to no avail, “It’s a gift for a friend.”

“See we’d believe that-” Fred chortled.

“-if only you had a friend, Perce.”

“Boys!”

“Oh, really.” Hermione grumbled, shoving herself to her feet and grasping the book from behind Fred’s back, marching it back to Percy, “Don’t mind them. Some people will never appreciate a book in hand.” she said plainly, handing it back to him.

Percy took it back, panting as he did, “Thank you.” he gasped in relief, grabbing for it and taking off before his brothers could chase after him.

“Hell, can’t believe we’ve managed to find someone who knows how to have less fun than Percy.” Fred grumbled, eyes sparkling as he darted back to his quarters, under the beady gaze of his mother.

“What’d you do that for?” Ron whined when Hermione took her seat back, “That fight would’ve been fun to watch!”

Harry laughed along as Ron and Hermione bickered quietly over their cards. The stewards then began bringing out plates and bowls, the dinner service beginning. He realized then exactly how hungry he’d become throughout the day. He’d missed the breakfast and lunch services and was only now beginning to become aware of his grumbling stomach and aching head.

“You don’t suppose Sirius will be down here, do you?” Harry said hesitantly, “Maybe I should go upstairs for dinner. I don’t know if I want to face him yet.”

“Don’t worry.” Tonks chided, dropping into a seat next to him, “He’ll be staying up in first. Deal me in, please.”

Another person, Remus, slid in alongside Ron, causing the three teenagers to bury their eyes in their cards, “Me as well.” he said, a cheery smile on his face as he clapped Ron on the back, picking up the cards that were thrown at him and joining in.

 

\---

 

“I was thinking we could get back to your studies tonight and continue on to chapter four tomorrow.” Remus said, dictating a lesson plan on a pad as he did, Hermione watching the whole time with an excited glint in her eye.

“Were you a teacher back in England, Lupin?” Mr. Weasley called over the cross-conversations from the other end of the table, causing the other’s head to snap up, an embarrassed smile crossing his face.

“I studied.” he said abashedly, “For a year, until my mother passed, and then I left to help my father.”

“He’s always had a knack for it, though.” Tonks replied warmly, “He’s taught Hermione all of her maths and writing. It’s very impressive.”

“Blimey, Hermione,” Ron bellowed merrily, happy from a full stomach, “You didn’t tell us that.”

“Neither of you asked.” she said, eyeing Harry and Ron before turning back to the lesson plan that sat between her and Remus.

“Well,” Harry said, pushing back from the table, “I think I’ll take a walk out on the deck. Ron, Hermione, will you join me?”

“I’d like to finish this, Harry, but thanks.” Hermione murmured, her eyes never shifting from the plans the two were drawing up.

“And I’m afraid my little brother owes me a rematch at chess, Harry.” George said, standing from the table as well, dragging Ron up with him and pulling him away.

Harry stared down at the floor, suddenly feeling very much alone, even with all of his friends around him, “Oh. Okay. I’ll see you all later then.” he said, waving to those who had looked up from their conversations to wish him farewell.

 

\---

 

Harry walked up and down the third class deck several times, chilled by the cold, but admiring all of the life around him. At every turn, families and friends were laughing, screaming, and chasing after one another. Children dove out of the way of spinning tops and laughed as they played with jacks. Not so long ago, it had been him on a ship's deck with his mother and father, excited for their journey to America. Now it was so different. It left a heavy pit in his stomach as he thought of the family that he'd lost less than a year ago.

"Harry!" his godfather called, waving as he leaned over the railing on the deck above, "I thought we might have a chat. Could you join me?"

"I don't know about right now, Sirius." Harry said coolly, turning and heading in the other direction, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he desperately tried to shield them from the cold.

"It's freezing out here!" Sirius called after, following Harry as far as he could, before being caught behind a locked gate, "Come inside, please, Harry."

"No, I don't think I will."

"Come on." Sirius grumbled, clearly as frustrated as Harry had been.

Harry took a deep breath, steadying himself as he made him way back inside, ascending the stairs to the deck above where he met his godfather. Sirius looked utterly relieved that Harry hadn't turned and run, "Well?" Harry asked, his voice tight, "What's this chat that we need to have?"

"I'd rather have this discussion after a stiff drink, I think." Sirius said pensively, guiding Harry back to their quarters. They walked along in silence until they arrived back at their rooms. Harry took a seat on the couch which Sirius poured them both a brandy, "Well, first of all I wanted to say again, how sorry I am about...this afternoon."

"I've already told you, Sirius, I don't care about that." Harry snapped, his eyes trained on the table in front of him as he clutched his glass between his hands.

Sirius shook his head, clearly frustrated with Harry's lack of interest in the conversation, "Well, if you'd like to get right down to the crux of it, then, we need to talk about your parents."

"Sirius, I don't-"

"Listen, Harry," Sirius grumbled desperately, his fingers massaging his temples, "I'm not good at this sort of thing, so I'd appreciate it if you would let me finish."

His tone caused Harry to freeze, his eyes shifting upward to Sirius for the first time that night. He looked significantly more exhausted, more worn than Harry had ever known him to. It was clear this had been weighing on him for the better part of the day, "You brought up good points, Harry, and I haven't been entirely fair to you...skirting around the reality of what's happened to your parents. I'm sure you know that your family meant a great deal to me. So you imagine how heavy it weighed on me, when I'd heard they'd passed."

"If you were so close to my parents how come we never saw you?" Harry questioned, "We'd been in America for nearly ten years. You're a rich man. You could've come to visit your dear friends James and Lily Potter if you'd wanted. You didn't care about them. You never did."

Sirius was sent reeling as though he'd been smacked, "Harry, what do you take me for?"

"I take you for a businessman." Harry said coolly, "I think as soon as you had my father's name on that contract, he became part of your bottom line."

Try as he did to hide it, a single tear dropped from the corner of his eye then, "Harry..." he croaked, "Do you really think that little of me?"

"You couldn't even be bothered to come to their funeral."

"There wasn't a single ship heading west because of the coal strike, Harry. There wasn't anything I could do. I got there as soon as I could." Sirius said, collapsing in the armchair and burying his head in his hands.

Harry shook his head as tears began to trail down his face as well, "You haven't said a word about my parents in months, Sirius. I don't think I've ever heard you say my father's name."

"I thought it would have been less painful for you if we just put it behind us." he finally admitted, downing his drink and wringing his glass between his hands.

"And what?" Harry asked, his voice nearly imperceptible, "Are we just supposed to pretend like it never happened?"

Sirius let out a sputtering breath, pushing his hair from his face, "I'm not good at this sort of thing, Harry; I've told you. I'd thought at the time that my decision was right, but obviously, judging by this conversation...I was wrong."

"Every time I'd ask about them you'd shut me down, Sirius. I just wanted to talk about them. You knew them for longer than I did. I just wanted to know about them." Harry admitted, slumping back into the couch with an air of exhaustion he hadn't felt minutes earlier.

Sirius clasped his hands together then as if sending up a silent prayer before training his eyes back on Harry, "What do you want to know?"

"Anything. Tell me about my dad when he was younger." Harry shrugged, "That'll do."

"He was a piece of work, your dad." Sirius murmured with a weak laugh, "His father was a teller at the bank when my grandfather still owned the company. Grandfather had insisted that there was something to be said for hard work, so he'd made my father start as a teller as well, and James's father and mine absolutely hated each other. They got at each other everyday. Your father and I were inseparable, which seemed to make them both all the angrier. We'd play in the bank's atrium everyday after school, which annoyed the secretary to no end. One day, we got so fed up with her that we locked her in the safe. It took them nearly twenty minutes to realize where she'd gone.

"My God, we were best friends, Harry. I don't think I can express to you how close we were. It was incredible. He was like my brother, your dad. And I could tell, when he wasn't happy with London anymore. I knew James had had this idea for a company for a while and he'd wanted to immigrate to America to start it, but he hadn't been able to save the money, so I gave him what he needed to get himself, and you and Lily, to America. I'd thought briefly about coming to America to join you three, but from his letters I could tell that he'd made quite the life here and...well, I didn't want to infringe."

"You were going to immigrate to New York because of my dad?" Harry asked, stunned.

"And you." he said simply, "I wanted to see my godson grow up. I just couldn't ever find the right time. It seems foolish now, but in the moment..."

"I...didn't know."

The rest of the evening was a flurry as the two shared stories of years past and of Lily and James Potter. By the end of the evening, Harry was sure he hadn't laughed so hard in months. As it had turned out, his father had been quite a prankster in his youth, a far cry from the quiet, steady businessman that he had known his father to be, and he reveled in the stories that his godfather shared. They drank and laughed long into the night, until with a resigned yawn, Sirius loosened his bow tie and gave a great stretch.

"It's getting late, m'boy." Sirius said, getting to his feet, "I think I'll be heading off."

"Going to see Remus tonight?" Harry questioned with an amused quirk of his eyebrow.

"So what if I am?" Sirius asked, stopping in the doorway, daring Harry to continue. He couldn't help but notice the blush that seemed to be creeping over his face though. 

"Just be quiet if you two come back here, will you? I'm bloody exhausted." Harry chuckled, getting up and heading toward his own room.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Sirius called, pulling Harry's glasses from his jacket pocket, "Found them in the couch cushions after dinner." He tossed them gently, but Harry, whose depth perception was hugely off due to not having his glasses, could only watch the blur as they soared through the air, pelting him in the forehead, "Nice, mate." Sirius chuckled, shaking his head.

"You knew that would happen." Harry grumbled through his laughter.

Sirius was already halfway down the hall when Harry heard him shout something to the tune of, "Next time you lose them, I'll make sure to throw something more breakable...and more priceless."

 

\---

 

"How did it go?" Remus asked, sitting up from his book the moment Sirius came into view in the third class general room.

Sirius shook his head, looking utterly exhausted as he ran a hand over his face, "Started off about as bad as you'd expect," he admitted, "but I think we've come to an understanding."

Remus nodded, running a hand through Sirius's hair, tucking a stray tendril behind his ear, "I'm proud of you."

"Why?"

"I remember how you were with James, Sirius. You two were thick as thieves. I know it's painful to talk about the things you've lost-"

"If that's what he needs, then that's what I'll have to do from now on." Sirius sighed, "He's my kid."

"That's the second time you've said that today. He's my kid." Remus murmured.

"It's the second time I've said it ever." Sirius admitted amidst a yawn.

"You're exhausted." Remus said plainly.

Sirius couldn't help but roll his eyes, "Heavy conversation will do that to you."

"You go on into my cabin and I'll be in in a few minutes."

"Wouldn't your wife be asleep in there?" Sirius asked, his brow furrowed, "I think she might be a little stunned if I crawled in next to her."

Remus waved him off, "We've got separate bunks. Just take the one that's open and I'll be in when I've finished my chapter." he said, giving Sirius a quick kiss on the cheek, "Go."

Sirius made his way into the cabin at the farthest end of the hall, the door squeaking only slightly as he shimmied his way in. The room was cramped to say the least. On one wall was Tonks, asleep on a single four-poster and on the other wall stood a set of bunks, the top one which was occupied by Hermione. Teddy slept quietly in a bassinet at the foot of Tonks's bed.

He felt incredibly out of place as he crept into the only available bunk, throwing the sheets over himself as he did. As out of place as he felt, though, he did have to admit it felt good to collapse in bed after such a long day.

True to his word, Remus was in only a few minutes later, his book clasped at his side. He sat it on the bedside table as he knelt down before Sirius, "Are you asleep?"

"Yes." Sirius croaked softly, flinging the blankets open for Remus.

"Don't be indecent. My children are here." Remus chuckled softly, jokingly.

"Well then where the hell do you think you'll be sleeping tonight?"

Remus plucked the abandoned pillow from the head of Tonks's bed, setting it up on the floor before laying back with a groan and creaking knees, "I'll be right here."

"So chivalrous." Sirius murmured, rolling over in his half-asleep state and letting a hand drop to the floor, which Remus took in his own, lacing their fingers together as they drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

“Oi, lovebirds!” Tonks called, nudging Remus with her foot until his eyes blinked open groggily. He still had Sirius’s hand clutched in his own, which he squeezed in an attempt to wake him up as well, “Get up; we’re going to the service.”

“What service?” Remus grumbled, disoriented.

Sirius took that moment to sit up and stretch with a great whine of a yawn, “What the hell time is it?” he grunted, his eyes still closed to the world.

“I’m not sure; maybe quarter of eight?” she murmured, gripping a struggling Teddy on her hip as she tried to slam a cap onto his head, “We’re going to the church services this morning. Make yourselves presentable.”

“The church service?” Remus muttered, still wiping the sleep from his eyes as he sat up, “Tonks, when’s the last time you’ve been to church?”

“A fair point you make, Remus, but Molly Weasley came knocking this morning and informed me in not so many words that we’d all burn in hell if we didn’t join her at the services this morning and – well – she frightens me, and I’d rather not be on her bad side for the rest of the journey. So put on a jacket and grab a hymnal. Hermione’s already up there. I sent her ahead with the Weasleys.”

“That sounds like a problem for the two of you.” Sirius said, looking with a frustrated glance between Tonks and Remus before flopping back onto the bed and turning away, throwing the sheets over his head, “Now, if you’d kindly turn that light out and let me get back to sleep-”

“Nope, you too.” Tonks said, “The service is up in first. It would do you good to make an appearance – her words, not mine.”

“Yes, and if I’m being forced into this you’re coming with me.” Remus murmured, as Tonks fled the room with Teddy still on her hip. Remus stood and began to dress, pulling fresh articles of clothing from his suitcase, “Do you need something to change into?”

“I think I look fine.” Sirius said, standing reluctantly and brushing out the wrinkles from the outfit he’d been wearing since the night before, “I’m sure this will be fine.”

Remus looked at him doubtfully, “You smell like brandy and cigars.”

“I always smell like brandy and cigars.” he countered, quirking an eyebrow at Remus’s look of exasperation.

He threw his hands up, shaking his head with a laugh, “You’re the one who’s going to face the wrath of Molly Weasley.”

“I’ve faced worse than that woman, believe me.” Sirius said with a chuckle, as they strolled from the cabin to rejoin Tonks and Teddy.

“Right.” Tonks said, an air of apprehension about her as they made their way upstairs with Sirius at the lead.

They were able to sneak in just as the service was beginning and passengers were taking their seats. Sirius managed to make out, among the several hundred heads, a crop of bright ginger hair several rows ahead that he made a beeline for. There, the Weasleys, Hermione, and – to his surprise – Harry, stood with hymnals in hand, “Did she get to you too, then?” Tonks whispered as she slid in next to Harry.

“Mrs. Weasley can be quite persuasive.” he said simply, staring ahead with groggy eyes. Sure enough, up and down the aisle were Weasleys and company, all of whom looked incredibly exhausted with bags under their eyes and slouching frowns. Mrs. Weasley, though, stood at the lead of her brood, her hand clutched to her heart as she joined in the first hymn.

The very last of the party to arrive were Fred and George who came sliding in beside Sirius with devious grins on their faces, “Did she notice where we’d gone?” Fred asked, his chest heaving.

“I don’t know. We were late as well.” Sirius murmured, out of the corner of his mouth, so as not to draw attention to the fact that the three were not taking part in the hymn readings, “Where were you two? You look like you’ve just run a marathon.”

“We did.” George replied, “We were in the gymnasium messing with that rowing machine, but then that steward caught us and cased us all the way here.”

“Think we managed to shake him a while back, though,” Fred cackled, “That bloke could do with a visit to the rowing machine, wouldn’t he?”

Sirius couldn’t help but let out a bellowing laugh that drew all of the Weasleys’ attentions to himself, before he bowed his head in apology and cracked open a hymnal to at least give the illusion of going along.

 

\---

 

“Did you see Ninette Aubart? Stood two row in front of us – with Benjamin Guggenheim – and she looked exactly like her picture.” Mrs. Weasley gushed, as she was lead back down to their cabins with the Weasleys, Lupins, and Sirius in tow, “Incredible.” she continued to muse as they walked, much to the amusement of her husband and children.

“Yes, dear.” Mr. Weasley conceded, giving his wife a thin smile.

“Tonks,” Sirius murmured, pulling her into a corner as the rest of the group continued downward, “how’d you like to do some dancing?”

“Sorry?” she asked with a surprised laugh, “Dancing?”

“I saw the DaMicos setting up with the band in the saloon. Will you join me?” he asked, hopeful, “Come on. It’ll be fun.”

“I’ll warn you, I don’t know how to waltz and such.” she remarked hesitantly as he dragged her back the way they came.

He shook his head as they ascended the stairs toward the saloon, “Oh, no. It’s not that kind of dancing.” he said, flinging the door to the saloon open. A small crowd was beginning to form as the band began to strike up a ragtime tune.

“Ooh, what’s this?” a quiet voice questioned from behind, causing both of them to whirl around on the spot, “I do like this music.” Ginny mused, bouncing on the spot.

“Ginny, what are you doing?” Tonks asked, “Your mother will be worried-”

“I saw you two running the other way down the hall so I followed.” she said simply with a shrug, “I was curious.”

“Never mind that.” Sirius chuckled, waving Tonks off, “Go get Harry, will you?” he asked of Ginny, “You’ll need a partner.” As soon as Ginny had tore off toward the stairwell once again, Sirius turned and began dragging Tonks toward the bar.

“Sirius, I don’t know about this.” Tonks said hesitantly, watching the DaMicos as they tore down the makeshift dance floor, not missing a single beat, “I know I can’t do that.” she said, shaking her head.

“Nonsense.” Sirius chuckled, shoving a beer into her hand before taking one for himself, “Drink.”

“Tonks! Sirius!” Bill’s jovial voice shouted over the music, as he waved from the entryway, pushing through the building crowd toward the two of them will Fleur on his arm.

“Here to dance, are you?” Sirius asked, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

“I have.” Fleur said, rolling her eyes with a laugh, “My husband hasn’t the slightest clue.”

Sirius’s face lit up as he downed the remainder of his drink, a moment later extending a hand to Fleur, “Well, then, can I have the first dance?” he asked, to which she obliged, taking his hand and allowing him to drag her out onto the dance floor along with a handful of other pairs, all of whom were struggling to keep up with the DaMicos. Fleur and Sirius cackle wildly as each took turns dragging and spinning the other up and down the dining hall. They more so galloped than they did dance, but they couldn’t have cared less.

“What are they doing?” Remus questioned, catching Tonks off guard. He had Teddy on his hip and Ginny and Harry on either side. He was equal parts amused and confused as he watched the two barrel up and down the dance floor, knocking bemused dancers out of the way as they did.

“I think it looks like fun.” Ginny said simply, turning to Harry and holding a hand out to him, “Dance with me.” she commanded, a mischievous sparkle in her eye as she pulled him out onto the floor to join the fray.

Bill let out a sigh, laughing as he watched his wife nearly topple over in the midst of a particularly hazardous spin, “Well I suppose that leaves you and me.” he chuckled, taking Tonks’s hand and leading her out as well.

Remus watched amused as he bounced a giggling Teddy along to the beat of the music, “Down!” Teddy demanded, sliding from his father’s arms and taking his hands, swinging them back and forth in a clumsy dance of their own. Remus couldn’t help but let out a laugh as he gave Teddy a little spin that nearly spent him toppling.

They all twirled and spun for what seems like hours, only stopping for drinks, reconvening when they did. Tonks, panting and sweating, lifted Teddy up and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “I saw you! You’re such a good little dancer, Teddy.” she exclaimed gleefully, as she spun him around.

“Yeah, his dad isn’t half bad either.” Sirius remarked, giving Remus an inconspicuous tap on the back side, which made him stammer in surprise and blush profusely.

“I don’t dance.” Remus murmured, his eyes staring hard at the ground.

Sirius shook his head, grabbing Remus and swinging him around in a circle with a laugh. Nobody was paying attention. Not one person gave a moment’s notice to the small group of friends convened in the corner by the bar. The passengers were all far too enamored with the new ragtime dances to care, “I beg to differ.” Sirius growled into his ear, planting a kiss just below his ear that caused him to jump.

“You’re being ridiculous.” Remus grumbled as he pulled away from Sirius, a smile pulling at the corners his lips as he did, “People are going to take notice.”

“Look at me,” Sirius instructed, his expression deadpan, “and tell me if I care.”

“I know you don’t.” he exclaimed in exasperation, burying his face in his hands.

“None of us do either.” Tonks said, shrugging her shoulders as she hiked Teddy up on her hip once again.

Remus looked around the group that surrounded him, his expression shocked, “Do you – do you all know?”

“About you and Sirius?” Bill chuckled loudly, “Did you think you were being secretive?”

“Well...I mean...yes, I did.” Remus admitted, his blush darkening further still.

“The entire time we’ve been this ship you couldn’t turn a corner without seeing these two together and they have the audacity to think we’re all blind enough to not notice. Honestly, do they think we’re as dumb as they are?” Fleur remarked to the group at large, her eyes shining with mischief, “I think you two should dance.”

“What?”

“Dance together.” she said, motioning between them, “The two of you, now.”

Remus couldn’t help but stutter, looking out over the masses of passengers all dancing in time to the music. “I think...I think I’d like to have a dance with my wife if-”

“It appears she’s taken.” Fleur said innocently, batting her eyelashes.

“Is she now?” Tonks questioned, looking up in confusion, letting Teddy down from her hip, “Who by?”

“Me, of course.” she replied, taking Tonks’s wrist in a vice like grip and pulling her back out onto the dance floor, where the two women began a wild two-step in time with the cellist’s beat. They seemed to be having the time of their lives and again, not one eye was on them. Rather, all eyes were on the floor, as pairs of feet attempting to avoid crushing each other as they desperately tried to follow along with the rhythm the DaMicos had established.

“They’re ridiculous.” Remus remarked, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched them shamelessly gallivant up and down the hall.

“Yeah.” Sirius nodded in agreement, looking out over the crowd as well before giving Remus a shove, sending him off balance, “We’re doing it.” he announced plainly, grabbing Remus’s hands as he reached out to balance himself, “Come on.”

Sirius dragged a hesitant Remus out onto the dance floor, followed by Bill who gave his sister and twirl, and Teddy, who had a fat little fist wrapped around Harry’s thumb as he waddled along next to the bandstand.

They danced and drank the day away, it seemed, all seven of them cackling along, taking turns bouncing and swaying with Teddy, until finally the crowd began to thin and then band began to pack it in. They went out on the deck then, watching as the first class passengers took their evening strolls, “My Lord, it must be nearly dinner time.” Sirius spluttered, watching as the sun began to disappear over the horizon, “Will you stay for dinner?” he asked, turning toward Tonks and Remus.

“I told Hermione I’d help her with her studies tonight.” Remus sighed ruefully, “I should be down there already, if I’m being honest.”

“And Teddy is overdue for his bedtime already. He should have been down an hour ago.” Tonks added.

“I think I’ll go down as well, Bill. I’m sure she’ll need someone to gush to about her morning’s brush with American royalty.” Fleur said absently, rocking back and forth on the spot as she watched Tonks and Remus descend the stairwell.

“You just don’t want to listen to another one of the general’s stories, do you?” Bill asked suspiciously.

“The man bores me.” she said, throwing her hands up as she continued to walk, “What can I say?”

“I’ll walk you back to your cabin!” Harry bellowed, charging after Ginny as she made her way out of sight.

His shout caused Fleur, Bill, and Sirius to turn and take note, chuckling knowingly as they did, “He’s smitten.” Fleur noted in a pitying tone, “He hasn’t taken his eyes off her since they got here, you know.”

“Who? My sister?” Bill asked, shocked.

“Yes, Bill, your sister.” she grumbled, “Has no one noticed, but me? Honestly, you’re all so oblivious.”

“Looks like it’s just you and me, then.” Bill murmured, watching as the stewards began reorienting the dining hall for the impending meal, “I can’t say I’m thrilled to be subjected to the general’s talk of his run-ins with the crazed-”

“godless savages. You learn to tune him out after a while, I tell you.” Sirius agreed, shaking his head ruefully as the rest of the first class passengers began filing in in their evening finery, ready for their meal after a long day of dancing and promenading, “Yes, I can’t say I’m too interested in hearing about the Astors travels around Europe either. Don’t suppose we should just make a break for it and head down below to join the rest of them, do you?” he asked hopefully.

“I think we’d better stay.” Bill sighed, “It was all over the papers that Sirius Black was going to be crossing first class on the Titanic. You owe them a glimpse. Besides, we may as well take advantage of what we’ve paid for, eh?”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about. You’re not paying for any of this. Last you told me, you were here on my dime.” Sirius pointed out.

Bill shrugged, taking his seat at the table then, “All the more reason to enjoy it while I can.” he said, nodding in greeting to the Wideners of Philadelphia as they took their seats to his left, before the drone of the general’s voice began to drown out all of the conversations that had been occurring around the long table. Bill and Sirius both let out exasperated sighs, resigning themselves to the next few hours of monotony, grumbling over the soup course as the usual conversations began to strike up around them – the railroads, the strikes, the latest European fashions, and cornering the market.

 

\---

 

“And I am telling you, I would give our Ginny to that Jack Thayer in an instant.” Mrs. Weasley mused as she continued to regale the others with her exciting journey to that morning’s first class religious service.

“Well that’s half the battle right there, dear.” Mr. Weasley grumbled, as he looked between his plate and his children, looking for any sort of out. It was clear he’d lost interest in the discussion of their brush with the upper class earlier on that day.

Ginny let out a deep sigh, folding up her napkin and placing it across her plate, “I think I’ll head off to bed. Would you like me to put Teddy down as well?” she asked, turning to Tonks.

“If you wouldn’t mind.” Tonks said thankfully, her eyes beginning to say. It looked like she was about to fall asleep where she sat, “Thanks.” she yawned, as Ginny pulled baby Teddy from her lap.

Harry sat watching as Ginny disappeared around the corner, his head in his hands, and he leaped in his seat when Tonks’s foots made contact with his shin. His eyes shot to her and she jutted her chin toward the corridor that Ginny had just disappeared down, her lips forming the word, “Go!” Harry blushed a bright crimson, but did as he was told, glad that the others were too focused on Mrs. Weasley to see him slip away.

“Wait for me!” he hissed, as he made his way down the hallway at what was very nearly a run. When Ginny stopped and turned, it was with a smile on her face as she watched him finally break into a jog to catch up, “I’ll take him.” Harry remarked, lifting the now-sleeping Teddy from her arms, “My Lord, he’s heavy.” he grumbled, nearly stumbling under the weight.

“Isn’t he?” she chuckled, pushing the door to the Lupins cabin so that Harry could squeeze past, “Be careful with him or he’ll wake up as soon as you put him down.” she warned.

Harry did manage to slip Teddy into his crib without the little boy so much as blinking an eye and it took everything he had to keep from punching a fist in the air at the accomplishment. The two slid out of the room, silently closing the door behind themselves before making their way back up the corridor toward the cabin that Ginny shared with her parents, “It was...fun...dancing today. I really enjoyed it.” Harry said hesitantly as he walked alongside her, “How did you find out about that anyway? I didn’t even–”

“I heard Sirius mention the DaMicos to Tonks and I followed them back up to the first class. I feel like I’m the only one who hadn’t gotten to experience the first class up until that point. Well, except for my brother Percy, but he would never.”

“And what did you think of first class?” Harry asked, an eyebrow quirked.

“If you really want to know, I think Bill was right with what he said our first night aboard.” she offered with a wry smile, “It’s awfully stuffy up there. I see why you prefer it down below. I am glad you came up to dance with me, though. I really enjoyed it. If my mother knew-”

“She’d have us both.” Harry nodded knowingly, “She’s already got her sights set on Jack Thayer for you; imagine how embarrassed she’d be if she knew he’d seen you dancing in ragtime.” he chuckled, eliciting a laugh from her as well.

Ginny sighed, shaking her head, “Oh, she means well, my mother, but at times she can be a bit much.”

“I’ve found that.” he agreed, as they paused outside of one of the cabins along the hall, “Is this it?”

“This is the one.” she concurred, rocking back and forth on her heels as she looked up at Harry, “I’d like to see you again.”

“I’m sure we’ll see each other around before the journey’s out.”

“No, I mean-”

“Oh.” Harry murmured as realization donned, so strong it nearly caused Ginny to double over in laughter, “Yeah, I’d like to see you tomorrow, too.” he nodded, “Around midday?”

She nodded and at the same time let out a great yawn, rubbing her eyes as she fought back sleep, “Good night, Harry.” she murmured with a weak smile. With that she pushed the door to the cabin open and left him standing along in the corridor.

 

\---

 

“I think I’ll be heading out for some fresh air.” Tonks said, rising from her seat at the same time Fleur did at the other end of the table.

“I’ll be heading back to my cabin as well.” Fleur continued, “It’s getting late. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

A murmured chorus of goodbyes sounded from around the long table as the two women made their way onto the deck and out of sight, “Sly move you pulled with Harry and Ginny.” Fleur murmured, as soon as they were out of earshot of the others and walking along in the cold night air.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Tonks said, shrugging innocently.

“They’ve been making eyes at each other all day, Tonks. I saw you tell him to go after her when she left with Teddy.” Fleur insisted, “I’m not as oblivious as the rest of them.” The two walked along in comfortable silence for a few moments, ascending the stairs from one deck to the next, when finally Fleur managed, “I enjoyed dancing with you today.”

“I...I did too.” Tonks agreed, her face turning pink as she did, “I’m not much of a dancer.”

“Please. You’re being modest.” Fleur chuckling, linking her arm through the other woman’s as they walked, “I like spending time with you.”

“I do too.” she admitted, her eyes shooting up then, “I mean...I like spending time...with you, too. You know what I meant.”

“I did know what you meant.” she nodded, her eyes sparkling with laughter, as they came to a stop below a sign reading 1st Class, “Well, this is me, then.”

“Alright, then.” Tonks nodded, glancing up at the sign and then back down at Fleur, who was now staring at her intensely, “Good nigh-”

She was cut off as Fleur’s lips crashed over hers, knocking the wind out of both. It took Tonks a solid moment to regain her bearings before she was able to pull away, stuttering as she did, “I’m sorry – I don’t – what–”

“I’d been wanting to do that.” Fleur admitted with a shrug, as if it had come as the most natural thing in the world for her, “I thought you might too. Did I misunderstand?”

“No,” Tonks exclaimed, her fingers at her temples as she reeled, “No, you didn’t misunderstand; I just...”

“Your husband?”

She couldn’t help but let out a laugh there, shaking her head, “No! Your husband-”

“He knows my...inclinations.” Fleur said nonchalantly, bringing a hand up to grasp Tonks’s, “He’s supportive, even.”

“Oh, my god.” Tonks murmured, pulling her hand back, still in shock, “You’re joking.”

“No, I’m deadly serious, actually.” she insisted, “Come up with me.”

Their lips met once more, this time with a heat that neither had been expecting. It took everything Tonks had to pull away, “I can’t just leave Teddy downstairs by himself. Remus is probably already halfway to Sirius’s cabin and I can’t just-”

“Hermione’s down there, isn’t she? He’ll be fine.” Fleur practically plead, grappling with both of Tonks’s hands, intertwining their fingers, “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“I really don’t know, Fleur; I just-”

She held up both hands then in defense, a wry smile on her face, “Okay, fine.” she agreed, “Just come up for a quick cup of tea. Then you can go back down and check on him. Is that a compromise we can all live with?”

Tonks let out a sigh, an agreeable smile spreading across her lips then, “As long as it’s a quick one.”

 

\---

 

“How was dinner?” Remus asked quietly, so as not to wake Harry in the next room over, as he slid into Sirius’s cabin. He wrapped his arms around Sirius’s waist, pressing light kisses into the crook of the shorter man’s neck as Sirius continued undoing his shirt, pulling his bow tie free.

“Bloody boring.” he murmured, turning so as to meet Remus’s lips with his own, “Glad you’re here now.”

“I thought about staying down below tonight.” Remus sighed, breaking all contact with Sirius as he began to pace the room, “You really made me look the fool with that scene you pulled this afternoon.”

“What scene was that?” Sirius asked, innocently enough.

“You made me dance, Sirius. I don’t dance.” he grumbled, leaning back against the bed post with his arms crossed out in front of him.

“You’re still complaining about that?” Sirius murmured, standing up in his half dressed state and meandering over to Remus, gripping his waist as he came to rest between his legs, “Is it really so bad of me to want to be close to you?” he questioned, “Because that’s all I wanted.”

“I don’t like being so blatant about things, Sirius; you know that.”

“What does it matter? You’re never going to see any of those people again once you get to New York.” he continued, nuzzling him as he did.

“Sirius-”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” he said begrudgingly, “Can you at least admit you had even the slightest bit of fun?”

“You know me. I don’t do fun.” Remus continued, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

“But you did, didn’t you?” Sirius asked knowingly, “Admit it.”

“Okay.” he conceded, “I did have fun, but that doesn’t mean I want to do it again – on this ship, in America...anywhere.”

“Fair.” he agreed begrudgingly, pushing Remus flush against the bedpost and taking him in a heated kiss, hands moving to grasp any skin they could reach. With one movement, Remus was on the bed in a heap, with Sirius lavishing any part of his body he could find.

“Would you give me just a second to get this off of you?” Remus groaned, pushing himself to sitting and shoving Sirius’s shirt from his shoulders before going to work on his belt. They quickly became a tangled mess of limbs as they hurriedly undressed one another, “You are the most impatient person I think I’ve ever met, Sirius Black.” he chuckled as he slapped yet another hand out of his way as he continued work on the buttons and zippers constraining his lover.

“I can’t help it. I want you.” Sirius whined, reaching to Remus once again, only to be pushed away completely.

“You’re going to need to show some restraint and manners, please, Sirius.” Remus instructed, in a tone that bordered on teacher-to-student, “Am I going to have to teach you?”

Something in his demeanor had changed and it enthralled Sirius in a way he hadn’t felt in a long while. There was a dark glint in Remus’s eye that he hadn’t quite caught before, “Would you like to teach me?” he asked, his eyes stuck on Remus’s. He felt like he was frozen to the spot where he stood.

“Yeah, I think I would.” he nodded, standing and sauntering toward Sirius where he stood, kicking off his own clothes as he went. He searched for any sign of hesitation from Sirius, but couldn’t find anything there but the lust he so desperately felt himself. Without another moment’s hesitation, he had Sirius backed against the wall, kissing him feverishly, one hand in a firm grip in his hair while the other locked his hands into place just over their heads.

Sirius ground forward, desperately seeking some sort of friction from the man in front of him, but to no avail. The only thing it earned him was a nip to the bottom lip that had caused him to yelp, “You’re going to have to do better than that, Sirius, or you’re going to have a very long night with very little fulfillment ahead of you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he grumbled suspiciously.

“Keep doing that and you’ll find out.” Remus warned, “Just relax. Be patient. I know what I’m doing.”

"You know I was never good at being patient, Remus."

"Well, then, you'd better get to work on that, hadn't you?"


	7. Chapter 7

“Are you really just going to leave?” Sirius grumbled, sitting up and pouting as he watched Remus collect his things that had been strewn around the room, “You’re just going to have your way with me and then head off?”

Remus turned with an amused twinkle in his eye, “Did you want me to stay and hold you, Sirius?” he questioned, unable to help the small smile that crept onto his face.

“Well, I don’t think it’s _too_ much to ask.” he whined, folding his arms, a look of joking hurt on his face.

He shook his head, letting out a chuckle as he made his way back over to Sirius, leaning down to cup his face and give him a tender peck on the lips, a distinct difference from how their kisses had been only minutes prior, “I’ll tell you what – I’m going to go have a look in on Teddy and Hermione and make sure all’s well down below. Then I’ll be right back.”

“Check up on Harry while you’re down there, will you? I don’t think I’ve heard him come in yet.” Sirius called as Remus made his way out of the room. As soon as he was out of sight, Sirius reached into the bedside drawer and pulled out a tin of cigarettes, lighting one quickly and letting it come to rest between his lips, his head still spinning.

 

\---

 

Tonks let out a gasp as she collapsed backward onto the pile of pillows, her chest heaving as Fleur worked her through her high, “Come here.” she panted, dragging Fleur up until they were practically nose to nose, Fleur’s eyes sparkling with a mischievous pride that Tonks had not seen there before, “This was not a _quick cup of tea,_ you filthy liar.” Tonks laughed breathlessly, their lips meeting in a sweet kiss a moment later.

“I assumed that you understood my meaning.” she murmured softly, pressing a kiss to Tonks’s collarbone before rolling away, “I’ll be back.” she whispered with a wink.

“Where are you going?” Tonks asked, sitting up and wrapping the long-forgotten bed sheets around herself, “Don’t you want me to...I don’t know-”

“I want you to lay back and relax. Have a cigar. They’re in the bedside drawer. I am going to go put on some tea and have a talk with my husband. I won’t be long.” she insisted, wrapping her robe around herself and making her way out of the room and shutting the door behind herself silently.

 

\---

 

“He’s been crying all night. I don’t know what to do to get him to stop.” Hermione admitted, as she desperately bounced Teddy, “He’s going to wake up the entire floor. I’ve done everything. He’s had a change. I’ve tried feeding him, rocking...nothing.” she insisted, “Is there something wrong with him.”

Remus let out a heavy sigh as he knelt before Hermione, pressing the back of his hand to Teddy’s forehead, “He’s warm. He must have a fever.” he murmured, pulling Teddy from Hermione’s arms, “I’ll walk him around a bit. If nothing else it’ll keep him occupied. You look exhausted. Try to get some sleep, Hermione.”

“Thank you.” she murmured gratefully, kicking off her shoes without another moment’s hesitation and laying back, her eyes closing before her head had even hit the pillow.

“Oh, Hermione – you wouldn’t happen to have seen Harry, would you? Sirius’s asked me to keep an eye out for him.”

“Last I saw he was out in the commons with the Weasley boys. I think they were playing poker.” she grumbled, already half asleep.

“Of course they were.” Remus grumbled, “Thank you. Good night.” he whispered, closing the door softly behind himself then. It didn’t do much good, though; even the mere movement of leaning to close the door sent Teddy into a new bought of wails.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Remus murmured, as he began to walk up and down the corridor, swaying Teddy as he did, “I know. It’s no fun being sick, is it?” he mused, running his fingers through the little boy’s hair to try to calm him, “You’ll be alr-”

In that moment the ship gave a great lurch that nearly threw Remus off his feet. He had to balance against the wall, one hand holding onto the wall, while he clutched Teddy tightly to his chest in the other arm, “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.” he grumbled, as the ship seemingly resettled itself, “You’re alright.” he murmured to Teddy who had seemingly fallen silent at the disturbance as well.

“Did you feel that?” Hermione asked, peaking her head out from the door of their cabin, only a few doors down by that point.

Remus shook his head, putting off a calm air for her, “We’ve just hit some rough water, I’m sure. Go back to sleep.”

“Are you sure?” she asked suspiciously.

“Yes, I’m sure.” he said shortly, righting himself once again and allowing Teddy to come to rest on his hip, “I’m going to take Teddy out on deck. The fresh air will do him good. You’re fine, Hermione. You can go back to bed.” he said with a smile before turning and heading away.

Once out on deck, Remus’s was perplexed to find a number of young boys, including several of the Weasley and Harry, kicking chunks of ice around on the deck in what he assumed was a makeshift rugby match, “What-”

“Glanced an iceberg.” Fred called, as he hustled past, “Did you hear the scraping?”

“ _Goal!_ ” Harry bellowed as the ice puck that Fred had been guarding went shooting across the deck directly as Ron, who missed it by a mile, “Well done, sport.” he cheered, running by and giving Fred a high five.

 

\---

 

“You’re smitten.” Bill remarked, his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face as he watched his wife put together a tray with a kettle, two cups, and some sugar, “Admit it.”

“I am not _smitten._ ” she grumbled, shooting him a warning look, not dissimilar to that of his own mother, “I _like_ her. She’s fun.”

“Please.” he chuckled, keeping his voice low so as to keep the other girl unawares, “You tell me that _Harry_ is smitten and then you go and pull _that_ stunt? Don’t lie to me. You’re in _love._ ”

“Good Lord, I’ve only just met her three days ago. Let’s not go jumping to conclusions.” she insisted, her face rising with color, “Listen, she is lovely and beautiful and...very responsive-”

“Yeah, I could hear that.” he joked, dodging a smack as he laughed.

“ _That_ is not what I meant.” she groaned, “I just mean that she _listens_ and...and when I’m with her, Bill, I just...want to be around her and _do_ for her and-”

“ _Smitten._ ” he declared, ducking as she flung a fistful of sugar cubes directly for his head. The conversation was only then cut short by a knock on the door that caused them both to stop and turn, “I’ll get that. You go worry over your _lover._ ”

“Bill, open the door; it’s me.” Sirius’s muffled voice called from the other side of the door as he knocked repeatedly.

Bill went to the door then, flinging it open if for no other reason than to stop the incessant knocking, “Sirius, w _hat_ are you doing?”

“Do you hear that?” Sirius asked, eyeing Bill with a suspicious gaze, “Do you hear what the ship is doing?”

Bill listened closely, his jaw jutted as he oriented himself every which way trying to understand what Sirius was getting at, “No, I don’t hear anything.” he said with a yawn.

“Exactly. I don’t hear anything at all.” he snapped, “The ship’s stopped.”

“Who’s that at the door?” Fleur snapped, coming into view clad in her robe, “Tell them we’re sleeping and to go away.”

“It’s Sirius.”

“All the same.” she grumbled, “It’s nearly midnight.”

“Ah, sirs.” the steward called cheerily, bouncing down the hallway in a manner not nearly suited to the hour, “Good evening.”

Sirius and Bill both turned to the steward then, concern evident on their faces, “Why’s the ship stopped, Mr. Latimer?” Sirius questioned, “My godson and I have business on Monday morning. We can’t afford to be losing time.”

“I start my job the day we dock, Sir.” Bill reasoned.

Latimer shook his head, his merry smile still in place, “The captain’s asked that all first class passengers report to the grand saloon. Dress warmly and please bring your life preservers.”

“Life preservers?” Bill whispered, so as not to alert Tonks and his wife.

“A drill sir, they’ve assured me.”

“Bloody hell, Latimer; you think we’re going to believe that? It’s nearly one in the morning.” Sirius barked, “Tell us the truth.”

“The truth, is that the captain has told us we may be delayed an entire day and this is the ideal opportunity for a boat drill, my lord.” Latimer insisted, before pushing past Sirius and knocking on the next set of doors, rousing the Astors.

Bill and Sirius exchanged an unnerved look, “I’ll wake the girls.” Bill said absently, stepping away to call on Tonks and Fleur.

 

\---

 

“ _Third class passengers fore and abaft of the well deck do collect your life preservers and await further instructions!_ ” an officer’s voice rang down through the lowest levels of the ship, rousing some from their sleep and pulling others from their deck games.

“Why’ve we stopped?” Ginny asked, peeking her head out of the cabin she shared with her parents.

“There’s to be a boat drill and we require all third class passengers to collect their live vests and away further instructions, Miss.” the officer commanded, as he walked down the corridor banging on door and rousing those who hadn’t awaken at the initial call.

“You heard the man.” Mr. Weasley called, stepping out into the hallway to assemble his brood, his wife and Ginny tight behind him, “Lifebelts.”

“They’ve called for lifebelts?” Remus questioned, coming in from the deck with the boys who had been outside playing with the ice.

“The officer said it was just a drill, but to collect your life vests, yes.” the older man confirmed.

“Right,” Mrs. Weasley murmured, searching the assembling crowd for her children as she handed out their lifebelts, “Percy...where’s Percy?”

“Here!” he called, shoving through the crowd that what now forcing their way toward the third class stairwell.

Mrs. Weasley nodded, “Good. You keep a tight hold on Ginny, please. Ron, stick close with Fred and George. We stay together.” she commanded, “Now, to the stairs, please.”

“Harry, come with me.” Remus commanded, dragging him back in the direction of his cabin, knocking only once before barging in and flipping the light, “Hermione, wake up.” he called, startling her awake, “Put on your life vest, please. Dress warmly. Harry, you put on this one.”

“But isn’t it just a drill?” Harry questioned, “You should keep one for Tonks.”

“Tonks will be fine. Put on the vest.” Remus insisted.

“I really don’t think-”

“Harry, listen to me,” he murmured, his voice low, hoping not to worry Hermione in her half-conscious state as she dressed herself, “I felt the collision. I don’t think they’re telling the whole truth. Now put on the life vest and get up above, please. Take Hermione with you.”

 

\---

 

“Mr. Latimer, I’m just wondering if you’ll ever tell us what is going on.” Fleur commanded as they were shepherded into the first class dining saloon, “Our family is down below.”

“There is no cause for concern, ma’am.” he mused in a forced tone of unconcern, “Second and third class passengers have all been brought to their muster stations. All you need to do is remain at your station until we’ve been given the all-clear from the captain.”

“Could we at _least_ get the steward to open the bar, please?” Sirius called in frustration, running his hand through his hair, “If they aren’t going to tell us what’s going on they could at least offer us a drink.”

“Here, here.” Bill agreed, looking longingly over to the bar cart.

“Lord Black, please, your lifebelt.” the purser plead as he walked past, “Madam, please.” he instructed, helping Fleur into hers as well.

“If I could have your attention, please!” an officer bellowed over the roar of the frustrated first class passengers, “Ladies and gentlemen, we will begin boarding the lifeboats on the starboard side of the ship. For the time being I shall require women and children only. Thank you.”

Tonks shook her head, trying to push through the crowd toward the stairwell, “I need to find Remus.” she said shortly, her voice shaky.

“ _Wait._ ” Sirius snapped, grabbing her arm and pulling her back, “You heard Latimer. They’ll be up here in a few minutes. You know how Remus worries; it’ll make things easier for him if he knows you’re already on a boat. Let’s go find one.” he said, pulling her along after Bill and Fleur.

“Alright, up you get.” Bill murmured, hoisting Fleur into the first lifeboat to be boarded. Surprisingly, the crowd around it was small. Most of the passengers had remained in the grand saloon, not wanting to come out into the cold. The two women along with only about a half dozen others climbed into the boat with the help of the two officers as well as Bill and Sirius. When the deck was virtually empty, Fleur stood and held a hand out for Bill, but was stopped by the officer.

“Women and children only, I’m afraid.” he said, turning away from the men then, “Lower away.”

“It’s not even half full!” Tonks shouted, standing up and clinging to the edge of the ship, “There aren’t any women or children left out here; you can let her husband onto the lifeboat.”

“I’ve been given my orders, madam. Now be seated, _pleast_.” he said coolly. For the first time that night they could have swore they saw a flicker of fear in the officer’s eyes, “Mr. Pitman, lower away.”

“I’ll be on the next one.” Bill said confidently, pushing his way to the ship’s railing and undoing his scarf, throwing it down to his wife as the boat lowered, “Stay warm, will you?”

Once the women were out of earshot, Bill back away, eyeing Sirius nervously, “Now what?”

“You find a boat that will take you on.” Sirius said nonchalantly as he watched the officers ready the lifeboats, “I’m going to go down below and collect Harry and make sure your family’s on their way to the boats.”

“Thank you, my friend.” Bill said, shaking Sirius’s hand before the elder took off through the forming crowd, pushing his way toward the stairs to the lower decks.

 

\---

 

“More women and children!” voices howled overhead as the third class scrambled up the stairwell to find a locked gate with an officer blocking their path.

“You _all_ need to return to your stations. Third class boats are not being launched yet!” the steward bellowed.

“Come on, man. There are women and children down _here_ who need the boats as well. At least let up the women and children!” Mr. Weasley’s voice called, as he shoved his wife and daughter to the front of the crowd, “Give them a chance to get to the boats.”

“There is _no_ danger. You will be escorted to the boats once all first and second class passengers have been loaded onto their boats and sent out.”

Remus pushed to the front as well, one hand in a vice like grip on Hermione’s wrist, the other arm tightly around Teddy, “For God’s sake, man. We can feel the ship listing. Let my children get to a boat. _Please._ ”

“You’ll do as your told and _wait_ for the first and second class passengers-”

“Steward, open these gates.” Sirius bellowed, marching around the corner with his coat flying behind and his hands balled into fists.

“Sorry, my lord. My orders are to leave the gate locked until-”

“My godson is down there. You let him up this instant.” he snapped, taking the man by the front of his jacket and slamming him against the gate, causing some of the passengers to jump back on the staircase, “ _Open the gate._ ”

Sirius felt a heavy pressure on his shoulder then as he was yanked out of the way, crashing to the floor. When he got his bearings, he was stunned to see a flash of red hair as Bill dove on top of the steward, striking him across the face. Sirius scrambled to his feet then, watching as Bill pulled a large ring of keys from the now-unconscious man’s belt loop, “Oh my God; there’s a million keys here.” Bill shouted as he made his way to the gate to begin trying different ones.

“Sirius, take him.” Remus commanded, shoving his way to the front of the mass, passing Teddy through the bars. He was only just small enough to make it through, “Take him. Get him onto a lifeboat.”

“I’m not leaving without you and Harry.”

“Bill’s got the keys. We’ll be right behind you. _Please,_ please just take him.”

Sirius’s eyes darted between Remus, Bill, the keys that his shaking hands were desperately trying to work and then let out a sigh, “Don’t do anything I would do, anything stupid. Tonks is safe; she was in one of the first lifeboats. You get yourself and Harry into a boat and let that be the end of it.” he instructed, “Give him to me.” Sirius murmured, dragging Teddy through the still-locked bars, “You too.” he said, reaching an arm through for Ginny, “You can fit through the bars.” he insisted, pulling her through, “Come on.”

Taking one final look at Remus, he turned and took off toward the boat deck. Out of the corner of his eye he only just caught sight of women being loaded into boats from the windows of the second class dining saloon, “Here.” Sirius called, grabbing Ginny by the arm and yanking her in the direction of the boarding boat.

“Lower away.” he heard the officer at the deck call and the boat began to drop.

“Wait!” Sirius called, dragging Ginny and Teddy forward, “Take these children.” he commanded.

“The boat’s already been lowered, sir. I can’t bring it back.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake; there’s plenty of room! Why are you boarding them only half full?” Sirius growled, “Stop!” He leaned over the railing to shout at the officer below, whose eyes turned upward. The boat wasn’t too far gone yet, “I’ve got two children!”

“If you can lower them down then they can come along with us.” the officer called up.

Sirius nodded, setting Teddy on the ground before turning to Ginny, “You heard him.” he said, “Climb up on the railing and I’ll help you down.”

“Are you insane?” she gasped, looking over the railing, “I can’t do that!”

“Yes, you can.” he assured her, “Once you’re down, I’m going to lower Teddy down to you. Don’t let go of him until one of us comes to find you. Come on now.” he murmured, helping her up onto the railing. A moment she dropped and a thud could be heard some feet below, “Alright, buddy.” he murmured, taking his coat off and wrapping Teddy up in it to protect against the cold night air, “You next.”

With that, he leaned over the railing as far as his body would reasonably allow, and the officer below reached up to collect Teddy from him, delivering him to Ginny’s arms, “Do _not_ let go of him.” he called to Ginny once again before giving a small wave and taking off once again, shoving through the crowds on the second class decks. Once he’d gone managed to get past the dining hall, though, the corridors were all but deserted.

 

\---

 

“Have you tried that one?” Percy questioned, pointing to one of the many similar-looking keys on the key chain.

“I don’t _know._ I don’t know which ones I’ve tried. They all look the same!” Bill growled out in exasperation, flipping to one key and then the next. As water began lapping up the stairs, passengers began scurrying back down the corridors from which they came in attempts to find different exit points. Unnerved by the water, Bill’s hands began to shake, “It’s got to be one of these.” he insisted as he continued to flip through the keys.

“Son, look at me.” Mr. Weasley’s voice murmured, as he clung to the bars that blocked him from Bill, “You can go. None of us would blame you.”

“Fucking speak for yourself-” Fred called from behind.

“Bloody hell, I’ve got it!” Bill shouted, a relieved smile spreading across his face as he turned the key and the lock gave a resounding _click, “_ Good. Good, _go!”_ bellowed, as hundreds of passengers began to push forward, swallowing his family among them. He grabbed hold of his mother, one of the only of his family who he hadn’t lost sight of in the mass, dragging her along the corridor that he knew led to the grand saloon. Mr. Weasley managed to catch up, a vice-like grip on Percy’s shoulder as the four hustled down the corridor, getting jostled in all different directions by the frantic passengers.

“ _Hermione!_ ” Remus shouted over the din of the crowd, as he was forced along, “Harry! Hermione!”

“In here, Mum.” Bill instructed, forcing her to the front of the lifeboat queue on the port side, “Quickly, come on.” he said, offering her a hand.

“This boat is for women and children only, sir.”

“Then just take my mother.” Bill said shoving her forward.

“Where are the others?” she questioned, looking around for her missing sons – Fred, George, and Ron.

Bill shook his head, “Don’t worry about that now, Mum. We will find them. You get on the boat.”

“I’m not leaving without knowing they’re safe.”

“Madam, the boat must go!” the officer called, extending a hand to help her into the lifeboat.

“We will find Ron and the twins.” Bill promised, giving his mother’s hand a squeeze, “Get yourself into that boat so we’ve got one less person to worry about. Please.”

With one more frightened look, she nodded. Giving both of her sons one final hug and Mr. Weasley’s hand an affectionate squeeze, Mrs. Weasley turned to the officer and took his hand, hoisting herself into the lifeboat and taking the one remaining seat, “Lower away!” the officer called and with that, the boat began to drop toward the sea.

“Right, boys.” Mr. Weasley said, once the lifeboat was well out of sight, “Stay together. Look for Ron. I’ll find the twins.”

With that, the men split into different directions.

 

\---

 

“ _Remus!_ ” Sirius called, catching sight of him through the masses forcing their way through the narrow third class corridor. He only just managed to grab hold of Remus’s life jacket as he soared past, “Remus, what happened?”

“I can’t find them.” he panted, his eyes swerving this way and that, “Hermione and Harry; they’re both gone. When Bill unlocked the gates I lost sight of them.”

Sirius’s heart sank like a rock into his stomach as he choked back as gasp, “It’s alright.” he murmured, pulling Remus out of the hallway and into a side room, “It’s okay. They’re not _gone._ You just got separated. We can find them.”

“There was already water coming up the stairs when we were trying to get the gates open, Sirius. If they went back down to try to find a different way-”

“Don’t say that.” he snapped, his lips pursed tightly, “We will find them. Now, do you think they might’ve found their way up with the Weasleys.”

“No, I saw them go past.” he said shaking his head, “They weren’t with them.”

“Okay, that doesn’t mean they didn’t just get swallowed by the crowd. We’ll go up to the highest deck we can reach and we’ll look for them. Remus, look at me.” he instructed, taking the man’s face in his hands, “We _will_ find them.”

 

\---

 

“Look, the boats are loading from there!” Ron called out, pointing to a position nearly two stories above where women were climbing overhead into lifeboats, “Harry, Hermione!”

“Christ, Ron. We know they’re boarding from there. We just need to find a way up-”

“I think we can climb it.” Ron reasoned, “Come here. I can climb out first, Harry, then you lift Hermione, then we can pull you up.”

“That’s brilliant, Ron.” Hermione gasped, giving the side of the ship a hesitant look, “You think you can climb it?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Ron said, rolling up his sleeves, “Give me a boost, will you?”

With the help of Hermione and Harry, Ron was able to climb and heave himself onto the deck above, rolling onto his front and extending his arms downward to pull Hermione up along with him. She crawled onto the deck beside Ron, reaching an arm down for Harry then, who seemed to be struggling under the rushing water, swelling around his knees.

“ _Look, there he is!_ ” Percy’s voice called as he and Bill rushed forward, “Ron, we’ve got to get to a lifeboat.”

“We got pushed back when the gate opened. We had to find another way out.” Ron called, pulling with all his might, but still unable to hoist Harry over the side of the ship, “Are you going to help or aren’t you?”

Together, the three brothers pulled with all of their might, dragging Harry onto the upper deck, “Thank you.” Harry panted desperately, crouching on his knees as he spluttered, “Really.”

“We don’t need any of that right now.” Bill muttered, dragging Harry to his feet, numb though they were, as they set off once more, “There are still a few lifeboats left on the far end of the ship, if we can make it to one.” he said, making a path through the crowd of queuing passengers with Percy taking up the rear.

“Have you got room for a few more?” Bill asked, rushing to the railing with Ron, Hermione, and Harry in tow.

“Room for two more in this boat.” the officer said, “The girl first.”

Hermione was shimmied forward and into the boat, but then the four men looked hesitantly among themselves before Harry shoved Ron forward, “He’ll go!” he announced, as the officer helped him aboard.

A moment before the boat was set to lower, Percy rushed forward, leaning over the railing, “Wait! Hermione, I was wondering...if you would...” he murmured, pulling a small book – the book of fairy tales his brothers had been playing keep away with only a day before – from his coat pocket, “I’d appreciate it if you could make sure this gets to Penelope Clearwater in Brooklyn, New York. She, um, well she’s been expecting it.”

She gave a weak nod as the boat began to lower out of sight.

 

\---

 

The ship was listing so intensely that it felt as though they were running up a mountain as Remus and Sirius heaved their way through the crowd, desperately trying to catch sight of Hermione and Harry. The stern blocked out the light of the moon as they pushed their way along the railings. In one moment, Remus grabbed Sirius, pointing with the other hand in the direction of a very distinct head of ginger hair pushing through the crowd on the deck below, “Is that Bill down there?”

Sirius strained his eyes, looking for the speck among the many jostling bodies, before he finally landed on his target, “My God, and that’s Harry with him!” he exclaimed, ripping down the stairs with Remus tight on his heels, a moment later rejoining the masses, “ _Harry!_ ” they screamed as they pushed their way toward the stern.

“Here!” Harry called, pushing his way through the crowd, his face flushed with panic, but otherwise looking relieved at this sight of his godfather and Remus, “We got Hermione away just now.” he said to Remus, “She’s safe.”

Though he’d meant to be sympathetic to the plight of the others around him, Remus couldn’t help but let out a great sigh of relief. The thought of his entire family being saved – it wasn’t one he’d allowed himself to think until that moment, “Thank you.” he murmured, placing a hand on Harry’s shoulder.

Sirius peered around at the other men then, “They’re loading the collapsible boats on the port side.”

“I think we’re going to stay and look for our father.” Bill said, “Good luck to you.”

“You too.” Sirius murmured as he grabbed, Harry and Remus and shoved them in the direction of the collapsible boats, “Get on, Harry.” he commanded.

“Women and chil-”

“ _He is a child._ ” Sirius snapped, his eyes blazing, “Let him through!”

The officer didn’t fight him, instead extending a hand for Harry, pulling him aboard and into one of the final seats on the lifeboat, “I’ll see you on the next ship.” he called with a wave and smile to Harry.

“Now what?” Remus murmured, looking out over the sea, “All the boats-”

“When the time is right...we’re going to have to swim for it.”

“Christ alive, Sirius. It’s 700 miles to New York. Tell me you don’t really think-”

“It’s only 20 meters to the boats. We’ll swim to them and they’ll pull us in. Some of them aren’t even half full. There’s plenty of room for-”

“ _There you are!_ ” Tonks called from behind, clinging to the railing as she dragged herself toward them, drenched from head to foot. When she was finally able to reach them, she threw her arms around Remus, pulling him in tight.

“ _No._ ” Sirius shouted, pulling both of their attentions, “No, I put you in a lifeboat-”

“You were safe! Why would you-”

“I wasn’t going to just leave without you and the kids, Remus.” she said, her lips trembling from the cold, “I’d been looking down below, but the water was getting to be too high and I just-”

Remus shook his head, pulling her into a tight embrace, “We got them both onto lifeboats. They’re safe.”

“Good, then we can find a boat and-”

“They’re all gone.” Sirius said grimly, “The boats, the collapsibles, all of them gone. We were just about to make a jump for it when you showed up.”

“Don’t let me stop you, then.” she said briskly, peering over the edge of the ship, “We’d best get on with it.”

At that exact moment, a sickening, guttural cracking noise could be heard from below as the ship seemingly began to tear apart at the seams, “Out of the way!” a man bellowed, shoving Tonks as he did, catapulted himself over the railing and toward the sea below. He didn’t make it to the water though, as, at a most inopportune time, a steal door from below swung open and he landed against it with a sickening crunch. From that door dove what seemed to be third class passengers, all of whom had been trapped below.

“Well, that was unfortunate.” Sirius murmured, dragging the two further down the ship, toward the bow which was now sinking at an alarmingly fast rate. Just as the water began lapping at their feet, Sirius stopped and turned to the railing once again, “Ladies first.” he commanded, taking her hand and helping to hoist her over the barricade before offering Remus a hand as well and heaving himself over the listing port, “I suppose we should just...jump out as far as we can and then swim for it.”

Tonks gripped Remus’s hand tightly, her eyes trained on the sea below, “I love you.” she blurted out, “You’re my best friend, Remus, and...I never said it enough.”

“Let’s all declare our love for Remus at a point when our lives _aren’t_ in imminent peril, shall we?” Sirius said, staring down at the ocean as it lapped ever closer.

“ _Watch yourself!_ ” a booming voice bellowed from behind. And a moment later, the three were swept off their feet, being dragged toward the sea.

Sirius could hear the screams of his companions and only just had the wherewithal to grab hold of Remus’s hand before they plummeted into the water.

Everything burned – his lungs, his skin, his hand that Remus clung to with bone-crushing strength – it all hurt in a way Sirius never imagined it could. For a moment, he wanted nothing more than to let go, to not feel that pain anymore. But then he felt a skirt whip him in the face. He felt Tonks and Remus tumbling around him as the suction from the massive ship pulled them under, and it was enough to bring him back to himself. With all of the strength he had, Sirius kicked for the surface, one hand still gripping Remus’s, the other clasped in what he could only assume was the hem of Tonks’s skirt, dragging the two others along with him.

They were only inches from the surface when the swell came, only inches from some relief when Remus’s hand was wrenched from Sirius’s. Tonks and Sirius shot above the water then, panting and spluttering for air, “Oh my God.” Tonks sobbed, breathing heavily, as she spun in all directions, “ _Remus!_ ” she called into the mass of people, pushing through with one arm while wading herself through the water with the other, “Remus!”

“Over here.” Sirius called, grabbing hold of her once more and dragging her through the water toward an upturned lifeboat, where men frantically scrambled aboard, “Get up.” he commanded, and though his entire body fought against it, he was able to hoist her onto the lifeboat with the help of a crewman who’d managed to climb on just before, “Stay there.”

“But Remus-”

“But nothing.” Sirius said, bobbing alongside the boat as still more men scrambled atop it. Remus had been dragged under. There was no saving him, nothing any of them could do. Still, though, he had every chance of saving himself and Tonks, and that was what he knew he had to throw his efforts into then, “He’s probably half way to a lifeboat by now.” he lied with a weak smile, hauling himself aboard alongside her. He wanted nothing more than to scream, to cry, to vomit. He’d lived twenty years without Remus. He’d learned how to live without him, but in the span of days had learned to _need_ him like he had years before, more so even. He’d come so close to having him again and then _this_. It wasn’t fair.

None of it was fair.

They floated along in silence for what seemed like an unbearable amount of time. Slowly the ship disappeared beneath the surface and the screams overtook the night. For an incredible amount of time, they rang out over the sea, until finally the seemed to decrescendo in a way that made Sirius’s stomach churn. Neither dared to speak a word, until Tonks’s head began to bob, catching his attention, “Keep your eyes open, Tonks.” he murmured, raising a trembling hand to shake her awake once more, “You can’t sleep.”

“Ay, if you close your eyes now, it’ll be the last thing you do.” an officer said from across the lifeboat.

“I’m so tired.” she whispered, her voice ragged, her tear tracks frozen in place, “I need to – just for a minute.”

“ _Tonks._ ” Sirius called, shaking her more fervently still, “Tell me about something. Tell me about Teddy.”

“He’s such a good little boy.” she mused, though her eyes continued to flutter, “He drives us crazy sometimes, but he’s a good boy. He’s got these incredible eyes that are so incredibly like his dad’s. And he can recite Aesop’s Fables. Have you any idea what that’s like, listening to a two-year-old recite Aesop’s Fables?”

“And what about Hermione?”

“What?” she asked, her eyes beginning to lull.

“Your daughter – Hermione – tell me about her.”

“She’s a brilliant girl, that one.” she chuckled, shaking her head weakly, “She doesn’t need Remus and me; never has. She’s so tough. She-”

“Ahoy there!” one of the officers onboard called, waving a hand in the air as a lifeboat came into view.

“Do you hear that?” Sirius whispered, shaking her awake once again, “There’s another lifeboat.”

“Mr. Lightoller?” another voice called from the lifeboat that was now coming in for their approach, “Is that you?”

“Yes, it is, but please hurry!” he bellowed back, and a swell of cried of relief could be heard from those who’d found refuge on the overturned lifeboat as the other came into view.

“Look at that.” Sirius said, a smile of relief pulling at his lips, “Wake up, Tonks.” he murmured, giving her another shake. This time, though, she did not budge. Though her chest still rose and fell, she would not respond to his calls.

“Get the girl into the boat first.” Lightoller commanded, helping Sirius to heave her into the lifeboat.

“She’s as good as dead.” the young man who manned one of the oars declared, as the men on top of the overturned boat shimmied one at a time into the boat that had come to their rescue.

“She was awake only a moment ago, Mr. Fleet.” Lightoller said, his face stony, “If she’s warmed, she may still survive. She goes.”

As the last of the men flopped aboard the lifeboat, Sirius grabbed a blanket from where it had laid abandoned on the floor of the boat, using it to wrap Tonks in, running hands up and down her arms to offer any warmth he could. He couldn’t help but notice the icy color of her skin, though, nearly exactly that of the white blanket she was wrapped in.

 

\---

 

Morning dawned cold and pink. With the first rays of morning sun came along the Carpathia and the rescue they’d all so longed for. One by one, passengers climbed a rescue ladder into the luggage hold of the ship, each collapsing in his turn as he felt the relief of steady ground beneath him. Sirius was no exception. As soon as he was over the threshold, he collapsed on hands and knees, gasping heavily. He hadn’t let himself _feel_ in hours and once he knew he was safe, it all came flooding in at once.

“Sirius!” Harry shouted, shoving through the crowd with Mrs. Weasley and Ginny tight on his heels. One of them, he wasn’t sure which, threw a blanket over his shoulders – he hadn’t realized exactly how cold he’d been until he felt its relief – and dragged him to his feet. Harry had his arms around him a moment later in a tight hug.

Mrs. Weasley and Ginny passed Teddy between themselves anxiously, trying to stave off his crying, as they watched the hatch intently, waiting for their family to make their entrance. And surely enough, in a few minutes’ time, the twins came crawling up the ladder, followed shortly by Fleur. Hermione and Ron appeared moments later, clinging to each other for warmth, pale in the face, but otherwise unscathed. With each new arrival, Mrs. Weasley became increasingly hysterical, openly wailing and clinging to her brood.

As people crammed their way into the tiny hold, Harry pressed a hand to his godfather’s shoulder, kneeling down next to him where he sat, “He’s alright you know. Remus.” Sirius’s eyes shot up then, red-rimmed and weary. “They pulled him from the water. Bitter cold, but no worse for wear. He was one of the first ones on. They took him to the hospital ward.”

Without a word he jumped to his feet, pushing through the crowd, making his way to the nearest officer, “Where’s the hospital?” he demanded, his jaw tight, fists balled.

“Just there, sir.” the officer said, clearly alarmed by Sirius’s disheveled appearance. He took off down the indicated hall without another moment’s hesitation. Slamming into the room, he froze, seeing Remus lying there among several others. He was weak, ghostly pale, but otherwise fine.

“You’re alive.” Sirius gasped, tears flowing freely as he marched his way over to where Remus lay, pulling the other’s hands into his own.

“Don’t sound so surprised.” Remus grumbled with a weak laugh as he turned to face Sirius, “I was sure that both of you-”

“ _No._ We...we made it to a lifeboat. Kind of. I’ll tell you later.” he said, shaking his head vehemently, “You’re okay.” he murmured once more, brushing Remus’s fringe from his face and pressing a shaky kiss to his forehead. At the present moment, neither cared what anyone around them thought, “Do you want me to bring up Teddy and Hermione?” he asked, as their foreheads rested together.

“Yes.” Remus nodded thankfully, “I need to see them. And Tonks.”

Sirius couldn’t bring himself to break the news – not when Remus was so weak, not when he was hurting. He simply nodded, pulling his hands free and turning on the spot, “I’ll go find them.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Mum, they could have just gotten on before us. They’re probably wandering around this ship right now wondering where _we_ are.” Ron reasoned with his mother, pulling her along as she cried into a handkerchief, “You haven’t eaten. We can find you some food.”

“We’re not going to find them by standing here.” Ginny continued on as well, “Let’s go find some blankets and food and then we can look for someone who can help us find them.”

Harry and Hermione watched on in silence as the Weasley children tried to calm their mother, to insist that she step away from the hatch that the officers were at that point trying to close. All of the people who had made it to the boats had been offloaded by that point, but there was still no sign of Percy, Bill, or Mr. Weasley.

“Do you think I should give her this?” Hermione whispered, pulling the book that Percy had thrown to her from under her coat.

“I don’t think so.” he shook his head hesitantly, “Not yet, I don’t think.”

“It’s inscribed to a girl in New York. I think it’s important. I don’t want to lose it.”

“Do you want me to hold onto it?” Harry asked, holding his hand out for it.

She shook her head vehemently though, tucking the book back under her coat, “No. He asked me specifically to give it to this girl when we get to New York. I’d really rather it not trade hands until it has to.”

In that moment Teddy let out an exhausted squawk, his eyes welling over with crocodile tears. It had been freezing all night and it was equally cold in the luggage hatch of the Carpathia and he was having none of it. Hermione wrapped him tighter in the coat he’d been swaddled in, another blanket over top, pulling him close and rocking him back and forth as he cried, “I know.” she sighed, her cheek coming to rest atop his head, “It’s almost over.” she sighed, her eyes meeting with Harry’s as she comforted her little sibling.

He extended a hand to her then, relaxing against the wall as he brought his own blanket further up his legs and wrapped Hermione’s tighter around her as well. There were no words worth exchanging at that point. Being together, being alive, was enough.

 

\---

 

Remus sat, legs crossed on the ground, one hand in his hair while the other was gripping Tonks's limp hand tightly. His face was sallow, sunken. He’d truly never looked older. Sirius knelt beside him, a hand on his back.

“Do you want me to wait outside?” Sirius asked softly, unsure of what to do. He felt like he was infringing on an incredibly intimate moment, but at the same time, he didn’t want to leave Remus. He wanted to hold him tight, to cling to him, to never let go, but he knew it wasn’t the time.

“No, I need you here.” Remus murmured, his hollow eyes trained on Tonks’s pale white face. He ran a hand over his face as his shoulders began to shake. He let his hand drop from Tonks’s as he let his head drop and became overcome with sobs.

Sirius sighed, leaning forward to running a hand up and down Remus’s back. It was taking everything in him to keep his emotions in check, to stave off the tears that so desperately wanted to fall at that moment, “I’ve got you.” he whispered, wrapping an arm around Remus’s middle as he pulled him close, “You’re going to be alright.”

“What am I going to tell the kids?” he panted in between sobs, “How am I going to explain to Teddy...that his mum...” He shook his head, unable to even complete the thought.

“Don’t think about that now.” Sirius insisted, running a hand through Remus’s hair as his head came to rest against his chest.

“She’s my best friend.” he sobbed, his fists balled in Sirius’s shirt.

“I know. God, I’m sorry. I am so, _so_ sorry.” he mused, rocking Remus as he did, “I’m sorry I couldn’t save her.”

They sat there for what seemed like hours, but in fact was only a matter of minutes, Remus clinging to Sirius while Sirius did his best to comfort him. Sirius found the wherewithal to reach over and cover Tonks with the blanket that she’d been wrapped in from the lifeboat. Finally, Remus began to regain his senses, and he sat up wiping his eyes, “I need to talk to the kids.”

“You don’t have to right now, Remus. You can take some time-”

“No, I need to do it now.” he said, standing up so quickly that Sirius nearly toppled over.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

Remus paused for a moment before shaking his head once again, “No, I need to do this part alone.” he said solemnly before turning on a heel and walking out to face the others.

Sirius took one last look back at Tonks before letting out a heavy sigh and pushing himself to his feet. He needed to find something to keep his mind occupied until they made it to dry land. He was pulled from his reverie when a little whimper came from behind and he turned to see Fleur there, a hand clasped over her mouth, “She’s dead, isn’t she?” she whispered, her voice tinier than he’d ever heard.

“Fleur,” he sighed, running a hand over his face, “I don’t think you should be down here.”

“My husband’s dead, too. We haven’t been able to find him anywhere on this ship, which must...it must mean he’s dead, right?”

“You don’t know that yet.” he assured her.

“I begged her to stay on the boat.” Fleur murmured, her eyes watery as she stared down at Tonks, “She kept saying that she needed to find _them._ I thought I’d convinced her to stay on the boat, but as we were being lowered past the second class deck she just got up and dove back onto the ship. I could’ve done something. I should’ve gone after her.”

“No. You were smart to stay in the boat.” Sirius contested, wiping a tear from his cheek absently before pulling her into a one-armed embrace, “Where are the others?”

“The twins and Ron went with my mother-in-law to find the dining hall.” she said, pulling away from him and tucking loose hair behind her ear, “Should we join them?”

“You go ahead. I’m going to have a look around for Harry.” he sighed, waving her off as she made her way out of the room.

 

\---

 

“I’ve been looking for you.” Sirius murmured, as he collapsed onto the ground alongside Harry, who’d been sitting alone up on deck, a mug of coffee clasped between his hands, “Have you eaten anything?”

“I don’t think I can. Not yet, anyway.” he admitted, pulling his glasses from his face as he did, “Remus was just here. He took Hermione and Teddy and I haven’t seen them since. Is it Tonks?”

Sirius pursed him lips letting out a labored breath, “Yeah. She, um, she didn’t make it through the night.”

Harry could only nod, picking at the blanket that he had wrapped around his shoulders, “Ginny’s just gone off to have another look around the ship for her dad. They still haven’t found Bill or Percy yet either-”

“Harry,” Sirius interjected, holding up a hand to cut him off, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made you do this.”

“You can’t have known this was going to happen.” he said cautiously, “You were doing what you thought was best.”

“Names please, sir.” an officer commanded, as his shadow loomed over the two men. He held a clipboard and had a grave expression, “And reason for travel.”

“Sirius Black, Harry Potter. We’ve got business in New York.”

“Thank you, sir.” he murmured, scribbling their names down before moving on to the next set of passengers.

“God, I’m sorry for all of this.” Sirius grumbled, peering apologetically at Harry.

“You don’t have to-”

“I know I don’t _have_ to, Harry.” he sighed in exasperation, “But you’re my kid.” he said with a shrug, “You’re my kid and I almost couldn’t save you.”

“You don’t have to say that...about me being your kid-”

“No, I mean it.” he insisted, sniffling as he barreled onward, “I know it’s not the same as having your parents. But you _are_ my son.” he said, taking Harry’s face between his hands, “You are my kid and I love you and I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.”

Sirius pulled Harry into a bone-crushing hug then, one that stunned the boy. He’d never known his godfather to be a particularly genuine person, and he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with the outpouring of pent up emotion he was now facing, “I’m sorry, too.” Harry murmured, holding his godfather at arm’s length, “I’m sorry for how I treated you. And I’m sorry about Tonks.”

“Thank you.” Sirius whispered, giving Harry’s hand an affectionate pat, “Have you slept at all?”

“No, I haven’t.” Harry admitted, a yawn hitting him just then, “Haven’t had the chance.”

“Here.” Sirius remarked, reaching out with one hand and yanking over a deck chair, “Lean back; try to get some sleep. Do you need another blanket?”

Harry coudn’t help but let out a half-hearted laugh at Sirius’s fatherly attempts, “I’m fine, Sirius.”

“Good. Sleep then.”

“Don’t you need a chair?” Harry asked as he crawled onto the deck chair.

“No, I’m fine down here.” Sirius said, watching as Harry rolled over closed his eyes.

 

\---

 

Hermione hastily wiped away the single tear that rolled down her cheek as she sat her cup of coffee down on a nearby table, “Can I see her?” she asked, her voice cracking, “I’d like to see her.”

Remus shook his head, doing everything he could to stave off his own tears as he watched Hermione fall apart in front of him, “I don’t think that would be a good idea, Hermione. Tonks...her body isn’t in good shape. It wouldn’t be good for you-”

“I don’t care. I need to see it for myself.” she insisted, her hands covering her face as she willed herself to keep her composure, “Please, Remus.”

He huffed out a heavy sigh before nodding, extending a hand to her, “We’ll only go in for a moment.” he said firmly, “Only a moment. Then I’m taking you to the dining hall and finding you something to eat, because I’m sure you haven’t eaten in nearly an entire day.”

“Fine.” Hermione agreed, following him back toward the room that housed the deceased.

Before pushing the door open he turned to Hermione one last time, clearly torn, “Give Teddy to me.” he said, pulling him from her arms, “I don’t want him seeing this.”

“Will you come in with me?” she asked weakly, her eyes red-rimmed with tears and exhaustion.

“Teddy-”

“Turn him the other way, Remus.” she insisted, “He won’t know the difference. _Please._ ”

After a moment’s contemplation, looking back and forth between Hermione, Teddy, and the door leading to the makeshift mortuary, he finally nodded, “Alright. We’ll both go in.”

As he pushed the door open, his stomach churned. He clung to Teddy, ensuring that his eyes were trained in the opposite direction. Looking from side to side, he made sure nobody else was around before kneeling in front of his wife, “Can you-”

“Yeah, I’ve got it.” Hermione confirmed, lifting the sheet away from her face and pulling it back. She let out a gasp that she hadn’t realized she was holding in. A tiny wail fell from her lips as she leaned forward, doubled over in silence sobs. With his free hand, Remus reached out and put an arm around her shoulders, holding onto her as she cried, as Sirius had done for him, “She’s really gone.” Hermione cried, shaking her head, “She seemed so...”

“She seemed invincible.” Remus agreed, “I know.”

“It doesn’t make any sense!” Hermione growled, jumping to her feet and pacing, angry tears pouring down her face, “We’re decent people! She never did anything to anyone. Why did it have to be her?”

It took everything in him to choke back the sob that had been building in the back of his throat. Hermione – sweet, quiet, composed Hermione – had finally been pushed to the breaking point, “I wish I had an answer for you.”

“It isn’t _fair._ ” she screamed, her voice breaking as she did.

“Of course it isn’t-”

“You two were the only _parents_ I had left, Remus, and now she's gone.” she sobbed, gripping at her own hair as she paced.

Realizing she was losing touch, he quickly grabbed her by the arm and pulled her from the room, closing the door soundly behind them, “Look at me.” he instructed, trying to keep his voice even as he leaned down to keep her eye contact, balancing Teddy on his hip all the while, “You’re alright-”

“I can’t-” she sobbed, choking for air as she bent double, “I can’t breathe.” she spluttered, leaning against the wall before collapsing against it, sliding to the floor. She choked and coughed, clutching at her chest.

"Let me-" Remus murmured, reaching out for her, but she pushed his hand away.

She shook her head as she threw her blanket off of her sweating shoulders and closed her eyes, "Please don't." she plead, "Not just now."

Silently, Remus sat next to her, setting Teddy on his lap. To his surprise, Teddy clamored to his feet, waddling toward Hermione. She looked up at him, doing her best to clear the tears from her eyes. She didn’t want to worry the little boy, “Sorry, Ted.” she said, forcing half a smile onto her face, as she continued to try to regulate her breathing once again. The little boy reached forward, pressing a chubby hand to her tear-stained cheek.

“Mione sad?” he asked, plopping down to sit in front of her.

“Yeah.” she murmured, taking his hand and pulling him into her lap. The weight of another human seemed oddly comforting in that moment, “Yeah, I am.” she admitted, “But I’ll be okay.” She wiped her face on her sleeve then and reached for Remus’s hand.

They couldn’t look at each other. Both had their eyes trained on the wall directly ahead, steady streams of silent tears falling down their cheeks, but after a minute Hermione could’ve sworn she could hear Remus mutter, “We’re going to be fine.” Whether he truly believed it himself or not, she dared not ask, but in that moment, it was precisely what she needed to hear.


	9. Chapter 9

 

 

 

 

**CHAPTER NINE**

_Three Days On_

 

 

 

 

“Did you get one of these as well?” Sirius asked, sitting alongside Remus in the dining hall, slapping a telegraph down onto the table in front of him, “They want to interview Harry and me for an inquiry.”

“I got one too. So did the Weasley boys. They want us there as soon as the ship docks.” he said, shaking his head, “It’s ridiculous. They can’t give us one day to...come to terms.”

“It’s not fair of them to demand the kids be interviewed. We’ve all been through enough as it is, but that...” he shook his head, pouring himself a coffee, “Were you able to make arrangements for Tonks?”

Remus nodded, pushing his plate away with a sigh, “The funeral home will meet us at the dock and the funeral will be in two days’ time.”

“So soon?”

“The world doesn’t stop spinning because she’s gone.” he said coolly, “Our savings were already small to begin with. We weren’t going to have much to start with as it was and now...well, now we’ll have even less. Hermione and I will need to find work immediately so the faster we can put all of this behind us the better it will be.”

Sirius sat back in complete shock, “You should take some time, Remus.”

“We don’t have the ability to _take time._ If we want food on the table and a roof over our heads...” he sighed, “I’m sorry. I’m not meaning to take it out on you.”

“I can help you, you know.” Sirius interjected, “I can find you a place, give you some money until you’ve established yourself.”

“No.” Remus’s fists clenched and unfurled, “I don’t...no.”

“I want to help you, Remus. Please, let me do something. Things are already hard enough as it is. I don’t want you having to worry about money-”

“I said no, Sirius.” he snapped, his eyes burning as his fist came down on the table, causing the low roar of the others around the long table to drop as all eyes fell on the two men, “Leave it alone.”

Sirius stood then, his jaw clenched, “I’m just going to, ah, step out on deck.” he murmured, turning away hurriedly and rushing from the dining hall.

*

When he burst through the double doors onto the deck above, the air hit Sirius’s face, cold and fresh. Off in the distance, he could just make out the shoreline, making his stomach flip. And, for what seemed like the hundredth time in those last few days, he let the tears fall, wiping his face haphazardly on the sleeve of his jacket. He slumped into a deck chair, staring out at the horizon, as they drew every closer to New York.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?” Fleur murmured, coming to sit next to him. He hadn’t seen her since immediately after their boarding of the Carpathia and she certainly looked worse for wear. Fleur looked as if she hadn’t slept in days and her hair appeared mousy, matted in a way that suggested it hadn’t been brushed in days, “For days all I’ve wanted is to be back on dry land, but...I don’t think I want to step foot in New York either.”

“I know what you mean.” he agreed, “It’s just so...final.”

“Exactly.” she groaned, wrapping a blanket tighter around her shoulders.

“I overheard Ron telling Harry yesterday.” he sighed, turning to her then, “I’m sorry about your husband.”

Fleur shook her head then, shoving a chunk of hair behind her ear, “Don’t be.” she remarked, “It’s good that they found him...I’m glad that we know for sure now. They found Percy’s body too. They were together at least...when it happened.”

“And your father-in-law?”

“Still no sign.”

“Have you got any idea what you’ll do once we dock?” Sirius asked, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, “Have you got family in New York?”

She shrugged with a watery smile, “I have the Weasleys. They’ll see to me until I’ve decided what to do. Bill’s left some savings, so I’ll be fine.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” he said, leaning back and pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket along with matches, “Do you want one?”

She let out an exasperated half sigh, looking down at the pack longingly, “Where did you get those?”

“Our first night aboard a bloke from steerage gave them to me. They’re not _good,_ but they’re better than nothing. Here.” he mumbled, lighting one and handing it to her.

Fleur only took one drag before letting out a hacking cough, sitting up stalk straight, heaving for breath, “My God, that’s terrible.” she gasped, putting it out immediately.

“I know.” Sirius agreed, letting out a low cough before putting his out as well, “Figured it’d be worth a try.”

She let loose with what was the first laugh she’d allowed herself in days, her eyes sparkling for a moment before she sobered once again, “Thank you, Sirius.” she grumbled, before pushing herself to her feet, “I think I’ll go rejoin my family, if you don’t mind. It’ll probably be absolute madness when we get to the dock and I’d rather not lose them in the shuffle.”

“It’s been a pleasure, really.” he called after her as she retreated, “I’ve enjoyed meeting your family.”

“Likewise.” she murmured, before disappearing through the door, leaving Sirius alone out on deck.

*

“Names please.” a man in a dark tailored suit asked as he glanced over Sirius and Harry.

“Sirius Black. Harry Potter.”

“I don’t see a reservation, sir.” the concierge stated flatly, “And I’m afraid we don’t have anything available at the moment.”

“We received telegraphs demanding that we come to the Waldorf-Astoria for questioning in regards to the Titanic sinking.” Sirius said coldly, causing the other’s face to drop, “And we’d very much like to get it _out of the way._ If you would be so kind as to show us to where we need to go-”

“Of course, sir. Right this way.” the concierge said, dropping all pretense and leading Harry and Sirius to the lift, “Take it up to the third floor and there will be someone to meet you, sir.”

Sirius nodded, following Harry into the lift where the attendant pressed the button to bring them to their floor, “If you don’t want to do this, Harry,” he murmured, “I can get you out of it. I can tell them you’ve fallen ill or that you’re already on your way back to London.”

“No, don’t do that.” Harry sighed, removing his glasses and wiping at this tired eyes, “I’ll keep it short though.”

“Here we are, sirs.” the attendant announced, pulling the lift doors open and ushering them out. Just beyond the lift sat two lines of at least 50 chairs each, lining both sides of the hallway. Some of the seats remained vacant, while about half were already occupied, passengers and crew both awaiting their interrogations.

A man in a pristine suit and an inappropriate smile approached them then, pressing a palm to Harry’s shoulder, which he clearly did not appreciate, “Lord Black, Master Potter.” he whispered in greeting, “If you’d just like to take a seat wherever you’re most comfortable, you’ll hear your name called when the congressman is ready for you.”

*

Sirius and Harry had been sitting out in the corridor for what felt like hours, watching as one after the other, dozens of passengers and crew were called one by one down to the front. At one point, the doors to the lift swung open and Hermione and Remus came slumping out, taking seats next to Sirius and Harry, but not saying anything in acknowledgment.

The foursome sat there in silence for some time before Harry finally shot up from his seat, heading for the lift, “Where are you going?” Sirius questioned, whirling around to face him.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes. I need to get some air.” he grumbled, before stepping in and slamming the gate behind himself, demanding that the attendant take him down.

As soon as Harry had vacated, Sirius sucked in a breath and turned to face Remus for the first time since breakfast that morning, “Can we talk?” he murmured, reaching out a hand for Remus’s.

Pulling his own away swiftly, Remus stuffed his hands into his pockets, glaring holes into the floor, “Not now, Sirius.”

“If not now, then when?” he insisted, “I’m sorry for what I said onboard. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just want you and yours-”

“ _LUPIN, REMUS!_ ” an old secretary called, her clipboard clasped tightly to her chest. Before either party had a chance to say another word, Remus jumped to his feet and had sped away to be interviewed.

“He’s the only parent I’ve got left.” Hermione whispered, not meeting Sirius’s gaze. As it were, for a moment he hadn’t realized she’d been speaking to him at all, “You need to stop trying to talk to him, Sirius.”

Pursing his lips, it took everything in his power to keep his composure as he turned to the young girl across from him, “I just want to help.”

“Well, you’re not.” she stated curtly, “In fact you’re making things much harder on him. He’s already devastated about Tonks, exhausted from making her arrangements, scared of now having to raise Teddy on his own, and on top of everything else he’s heartbroken that you’re leaving. He wants you there, to comfort him, but he also knows he has to distance himself, because it’s inevitable that you _will_ leave. So just...let him go, please. Stop offering your help. Stop trying to make conversation. Just let us do things the way they need to be done.”

“He told you all of that, did he?” Sirius questioned, his brow furrowed.

“He didn’t have to; he’s my family. I can just tell.”

Sirius sat back then. That had never donned on him. Of course Hermione was right. The only reason he and Harry were in New York at all was to collect the inheritance. It was an easy day’s work and then they were due back in London the next week. It had never even occurred to him that he’d be parting ways with Remus now that they had made it to America.

“I didn’t realize.” he admitted, his head falling into his hands.

“Of course you didn’t. And that’s alright. Just...stop trying to seek him out. It will make things easier on all of us, I think.”

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need to be.” she shrugged, her eyes still swimming with tears, “For the record, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him happier than when he was with you, though. You really do mean a lot to him.”

*

The secretary led Remus down another short corridor, which led to a conference room, surrounded on all sides by men in tailored suits. The man had never felt more out of place in his life, “Would you like some water, Mr. Lupin?” the secretary asked, unsheathing a glass from atop a teetering pile.

“No...’m fine, thanks.” he grumbled, collapsing into a chair across from the congressman, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Thank you.” the congressman said pointedly, eyeing the young woman as she scrambled from the room, closing the door softly behind herself, “Now, Mr. Lupin,” he grumbled, leaning forward on his elbows, “I am Congressman Smith, here conducting interviews in regards to the crash and consequent sinking of the Royal Mail Steamer Titanic. Can you confirm you were onboard this ship?”

“Yes, I was. Me and my entire family.” he stated disinterestedly.

“Why don’t you go ahead and start by telling me what your experience was during Titanic’s final hours, Mr. Lupin.” the congressman grumbled, taking a glass of water for himself picking up his pen and flipping to a fresh page in his notepad, “Our records show that you were traveling third class with your wife, Mrs. Nymphadora Lupin, and your children Hermione and Edward. Is that correct?”

“That is correct.” he murmured back, running a hand over his scruff.

“Go on, then.” he murmured, dictating Remus’s words as he spoke, “We’ll stop you when we have questions.”

“Well,” he grumbled, taking in a deep breath, “I had been up in first class with a friend of mine that night, but I had decided to go back down below to check on our kids. My son had caught a bit of a cold, so he’d been crying and I was walking him up and down the corridors, trying to calm him. When we struck I was nearly knocked off my feet – had to hold on for what felt like ages, but you could tell the ship wasn’t quite right after that. She had a slight list.

“We were assured that everything was fine by the stewards. They came down to tell us to collect our lifebelts and head to our muster stations, but...I don’t think they ever had the intention of bringing us up on deck, Congressman.”

“What do you mean by that?” the congressman asked in shock as even the scribe paused momentarily to have a look at the sullen man sat before them.

“Even as the water was lapping the stairs the stewards insisted there was no need for panic, but I’m confident if passengers from the first class hadn’t come down to have a look for us-” he shook his head his teeth gritted in frustration, “There was no reason to keep us down below. As it were my children barely made it off the ship. My daughter...she was put into the last boat to be lowered. She and her friends had to climb the ship’s railing in order to get to the lifeboats. Not one officer or steward or person with _any_ authority offered them any help whatsoever. If it hadn’t been for Bill Weasley – if it hadn’t been for those boys who got her to the boat-”

“Do you believe the third class had been unfairly discriminated against, sir?”

“Not until that very moment.” he conceded, “But you know as well as I do that the first class will always be favored. As it appears now, nearly every woman and child in first class had been evacuated off _Titanic_ before my family even had the chance to make it up on deck, so you can render from that what you will.”

“Do you believe, sir-”

“It doesn’t matter what I _believe._ Not now, anyway.” Remus growled, sitting forward with hands on his knees, his nose inches from the congressman then, “Here’s what I _know._ The White Star Line kept my children locked below deck until there was hardly any chance for them to escape. Because we were behind lock and key, my wife gave up her seat in a lifeboat to come find us. She didn’t succeed until all of the lifeboats were gone and she froze to death in the middle of the Atlantic, clinging to a capsized lifeboat with a dozen other men. That’s not what I _believe,_ sir; those are the facts. And I think White Star would be good to remember them for the next time something like this inevitably happens.”

All eyes were on him, watching in horror as he stood, his fists balled. For one moment it really did look like he was going to lunge for the senator and the security men behind him lurched forward, only to be called off a moment later. After coming back to himself, Remus sat back down, his hands folded over his lap, “Apologies, Congressman.”

“Don’t apologize. You have the right.” he sighed, running a handkerchief over his sweating forehead, “If you don’t mind my asking...if you could, Mr. Lupin, could you please tell us _how_ you were rescued?”

He swallowed heavily. This was the part that he’d ultimately been preparing for, though he still felt a massive lump form in his throat the moment he began to speak, “I had been on deck with my friend Sirius, making sure that his godson had made it into one of the collapsible boats that were being launched, when we came across my wife. She’d been down below, looking for myself and our children. You could see that there were no more lifeboats left. All along the port side there were just ropes swinging through the air where the lifeboats had previously been.

“The three of us made our way as far down the ship’s bow as we could before climbing over the railing. We’d agreed to jump out as far as we could and swim to the boats, but we were knocked off the ship and into the Atlantic by a massive swell. I was pulled one way; my wife and Sirius were pulled the other and that was the last that I saw of them until we’d been pulled aboard _Carpathia.”_

_“_ You were rescued from the water, from what I’ve deduced, sir. Can you elaborate on how that came to occur?”

“When I managed to get my head above water, I started paddling; you needed to be as far away from the ship as possible so as not to be taken down with her. I just swam. I looked for Sirius and Tonks-”

“Tonks?”

“Nymphadora, I mean.” he groaned, his eyes tightly shut as they stung with tears, “I looked for them for what felt like hours, but I couldn’t find them anywhere. The Weasley boys, Fred and George, I heard them calling out from a lifeboat – they were at the oars – and they pulled me in. I laid there on the floor of that lifeboat until daybreak when _Carpathia_ finally came for us.

“I was taken to hospital once onboard the ship and that’s where Sirius found me and informed me that...well, about my wife.”

He bit his lips then, turning his face to the sky in an attempt to keep his tears from spilling over, “I think I’m going to step out now, gentlemen.” he said, shaking his head as he pushed himself to his feet.

“Mr. Lupin,” the congressman called, causing the younger man to turn, his eyes red-rimmed and welling, “I’m so sorry. For you family...your children-”

“Thank you, sir.” he murmured, mopping his eyes as he rushed from the conference room.

*

“Hermione,” Harry called, stepping out of the lift looking windswept and as if he’d just run a marathon, “can I talk to you?”

“I don’t know, Harry.” she whispered, as she turned to eye him.

“It’ll only take a second.” he said, motioning for her to join him, which she finally, begrudgingly did, “Thank you.” he mumbled as she stepped onto the lift and it descended downward once more, “Hermione, I know that Remus refused to take any money from Sirius, but-”

“We don’t need anything from you, Harry, really.” she insisted, “We’ll be fine. We’ve been in worse straights than this.”

“No, you haven’t.” Harry shook his head as he dragged her from the lift, pulling her out through the lobby and into a quiet room where they could be alone for a moment, “Answer me honestly, Hermione; will you be able to continue your education?”

She searched the room wildly, her eyes glossed over, “None of that matters.”

“Yes, it does.” he snapped, “You told us yourself that all you wanted to do when you got to America was continue your studies and now-”

“Sometimes wants to matter, Harry.” she cried, her voice nearly intangible as it cracked.

He reached for her hand then, pulling it into his grip as she began to cry quietly, “That’s not true.” he murmured, pulling a small slip of paper from his pocket and ramming it into her hand, “Please take it.” he plead.

Taking a look at the slip that he’d jammed into her hand, Hermione let out a gasp, shaking her head frantically, “Harry, I can’t take this. It’s too much.”

“Yes, you can.” he insisted, “My parents left me a lot. I’ve also taken out some money for the Weasleys and for Fleur too.

“Hermione, it’s enough for you to go to school full-time – Remus too, if he wants – probably enough for a governess for Teddy, as well. Please, take it. It couldn’t go to a better use. And when you’re done with your studies I want you to come find me because I’m going to give you a grant to start a school so that you can teach other children of immigrants.”

“Where am I supposed to study?” she asked, throwing her hands up in frustration, “I don’t know anything about New York. Where am I supposed to start?”

“I’m sure Sirius will have some connections. We can find you a school that will take you for the next term. You’re smart, Hermione – _really_ smart. You can do this.”

She was speechless as she flipped the check over in her hand, “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. We can go to the bank right now and get things taken care of. I’m going to do the same tomorrow with Fleur and Ron after that.”

“I’m going to miss you, Harry.” she murmured, pulling him into a hug that nearly knocked him off his feet then.

Pulling away, Harry gave her a pat on the back as he smiled weakly, “You may not have any reason to miss me yet.” he admitted, “I’m going to talk to Sirius about it tonight, but I think I’d like to stay here for a while.”

“Stay?” she gasped in disbelief, “In New York?”

“Bill was set to manage the New York branch.” Harry said grimly, “I was thinking it might not be a bad thing for me to take the position in the interim until we can find someone more permanent.”

Though she wanted nothing more than to smile, relief bubbling at knowing one of her new anchors may not be leaving _just_ yet, she couldn’t bring herself to it. Happy as she was that Harry would be staying in New York, she had to acknowledge the fact that the only reason that that was the case was because this horrible thing happened, and she sobered immediately.

“Come with me to the bank so we can square up.” he insisted, extending an arm to her.

Without another moment’s protest, she joined him, walking discreetly back through the lobby - so as not to gain the attentions of the journalists who were lurking just out of sight - and through the front doors of the Waldorf-Astoria.

“Excuse me.” a soft voice murmured as a young woman appeared from around the side of the hotel, “Hello, excuse me. I was wondering if you could help me.” she called, running after the two as they exited the hotel, “Please, wait. They won’t let me inside. I’m looking for someone.”

This caused both Hermione and Harry to stop and turn, “Who are you looking for?” Harry asked, giving her a pointed look, “They aren’t letting anyone in at the moment, trying to cut down on photographs; I’m sure you understand.”

“I am family. I mean, essentially speaking.” she said, her face turning red with blush, “I’m looking for the Weasleys.”

“We know them.” Hermione interjected, her hand clutched tightly around the book that she still held within the folds of her coat.

“Please,” she whispered hopefully, “My name is Penelope. I’m looking for my fiance.”

Hermione let out a little gasp, covering her mouth with her hands, “Oh, God.” she cried.

“He sent me a few weeks ahead when he figured out the whole family would be making the trip. Reckon it took every penny he had, but he was adamant that we were going to America and he was going to marry me once he got here.” she rambled, a dazed look on her face, as if she was thinking back on a vivid memory.

“Percy?” Harry asked, squeezing Hermione’s elbow so as to try to keep her calm. He could see that the girl was only seconds away from having an utter breakdown, but in front of Penelope Clearwater, he was sure, was not the right time.

“You know him? Is he here?” she asked, a hopeful smile crossing her face, “His name wasn’t on the roster with his family. I was worried, so I came here to find him, but when they wouldn’t let me in and I’ve just been so worried and-”

“Penelope,” Hermione groaned, pulling the book from beneath her coat, “He, um, asked me to give you this...before I was taken off the ship.” she murmured, thrusting it into the other’s hands, “He said you were expecting it.”

She took it, a confused expression on her face, before Harry redirected both she and Hermione back toward the hotel, “Why don’t I take you to see them? The Weasleys are still in line for their questionings. I’m positive they could use the company.”

Behind the girl’s back, he gave Hermione a grave look and a slight shake of the head. This wasn’t a conversation that either of them had the right or ability to have with her. It was for the family to decide how to break the news.

And break the news they did. Hermione and Harry stood watching, from only feet away as the young girl fell to her knees in front of Mrs. Weasley, her shoulders shaking as she doubled with sobs. The Weasley matriarch placed a tired hand on the girl’s shoulder, an attempt at comfort even as she stared blankly at the wall ahead. The remaining Weasley children surrounded the two then, blocking them from view.

Hermione and Harry reclaimed their original seats on the other end of the corridor, settling in as the secretary came marching out along with Fleur who looked ashen and grim. The secretary paid her no mind though, calling the next name from her clipboard, “Black, Sirius.”


	10. Chapter 10

The day of Tonks’s funeral dawned cold and storming. The funeral procession was a tiny one. The Lupins had no family in America and the Weasleys had bid them all a farewell the night prior before catching a train to Halifax, where they would be able to officially identify and put to rest Bill and Percy.

This left only five – the Lupins along with Harry and Sirius standing nearly ankle-deep in mud as they watched the wooden box be lowered to its final resting place. When it had been lowered, Hermione stepped forward, leaving a flower there. A moment later Remus stepped forward to do the same, before lifting Teddy up and helping him as well.

After a few final words and tears shed, the coffin began to slowly disappear as it was covered over with earth. Hermione and Remus stood frozen and tight-jawed as Teddy fidgeted between the two. Harry gave them one final, solemn pat each on the back before turning away and heading toward a distant hill, hands stuffed deep in his pockets.

Sirius’s eyes trailed after Harry for a moment only, before reverting back to Hermione and Remus. He stood there next to Remus, desperately wanting to hold him, to touch him, to offer any comfort at all, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Though he’d felt the need to be at the funeral, now that he was there, he felt entirely out of place. It was a family affair that he had all but forced his way into.

“You can go after Harry, if you want.” Remus muttered, his eyes almost entirely glassed over, “It’s alright.”

He wanted to retort, to insist on staying, but he couldn’t find a good enough reason. So, with quick movement he wrapped an arm around Remus, giving him a speedy side hug before rushing off after Harry.

*

The rain was beginning to pick up its intensity at that point, and by the time he’d caught up to Harry the storm had reached its pinnacle, “Harry!” Sirius called over the roar of the wind and rain, “What are you-”

It was then that Harry stopped, turning toward two small headstones. He paused for a moment before sitting on the bench that stood before headstones, “You can go back to the hotel, Sirius. You don’t have to stay out here.”

“Your parents.” he sighed, coming to sit next to Harry. The bench was small and they were crammed shoulder to shoulder, but it didn’t much matter to either of them, “They couldn’t have picked a much better spot.” he mused, admiring the area around. On a good day, it would have been lovely, with views in every direction of a beautiful landscape and the city off in the distance, “I think they would have liked it here.”

“I think so too.” he agreed, pulling a small pile of pebbles from his pocket before placing one on each of his parents’ graves, handing two more to Sirius so that he could do the same, “I thought I was over it, but...now that we’re here, I’m definitely not.”

“Losing your mum and dad isn’t something that you can just _get over_ ,” Sirius remarked pointedly, sighing deeply as he reclaimed his seat, “I’m so sorry, Harry.”

“You don’t have to be.” he said, his eyes sagging with exhaustion, before righting himself, “I’m going to be taking the next train north. Ron and Ginny...well, I think I’d like to pay my respects.”

“That’s good of you.” he agreed, “Do you want me to come with you?”

Harry shook his head, a sad smile crossing his lips, “No, I reckon you’re needed here.” he said, jumping to his feet as he made eye contact with something just over Sirius’s shoulder, “Remus is on his way over.” he murmured, “I’ll see you in a few days, Sirius.” With one final pat of his godfather’s shoulder, he stood and made his way back down the hill.

Sirius turned then, catching Remus’s eye as he made his way up the hill, “Hi.” Sirius uttered, looking up at him in surprise, his shoulders slouched.

“Hello.” Remus countered, stuffing his hands into his pockets as the wind beat around him, “You didn’t have to come, you know.”

“I know that.” he shrugged simply, “I wanted to be here.”

“Thank you.” he murmured, taking a seat next to Sirius on the bench, facing the graves, “Hermione collected her paperwork at Columbia yesterday evening. She’s thrilled. Thank you for calling in that favor.”

“I could get you in too, if you wanted.” Sirius said simply, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

Remus shook his head vehemently then, letting out a low groan as he bent to sit alongside Sirius, “No, those days are far behind me. I need to focus on my family for now.”

“I’m not leaving.” Sirius interjected, his head falling into his hands.

Remus’s brow furrowed then, as he turned to face him fully, “You...what?”

“I’ve been thinking on it since we got to New York. I can’t go back to London – not while you’re here.”

“Sirius,” he mused, his eyes falling once again to his hands, “you can’t just drop everything and...and Harry-”

“Harry is staying, too.” Sirius said, “He’s decided he’ll take the management position at Black & Sons here in New York. And I’m not going if he’s staying so...” he paused then, giving a shrug, “I just found you, Remus.” he admitted, his eyes beginning to mist, “I don’t want to leave you again.”

Remus let out a heavy sigh, his eyes trained on the graves before them. The next moment, he’d pulled Sirius’s hand into both of his own, letting his head fall to rest on the other’s shoulder, “I know.”

“We need to get out of this rain.” Sirius remarked after a few minutes’ silence, “The kids are going to catch their deaths. My flat’s just around the corner from here.” he said, standing and holding a hand out to hoist Remus to his feet.

*

“Wow.” Remus murmured, an eyebrow quirked as he stepped through the door of the apartment that Sirius had led them all to, “It’s...completely barren.” he remarked, a surprised chuckle tearing through him, “You really haven’t got anything.”

“I just signed for it this morning.” he said simply, holding the door open while Hermione, and Teddy trekked through as well, “Excuse me for not having it entirely furnished.” he chided lightly.

“I just assumed that you would have a connection _._ I don’t know.” Remus said with a shrug.

“I did have the kitchen stocked this morning.” Sirius said, heading in and examining the stuffed cabinets and pantries, “Hungry?” he asked, peering around at Remus and Hermione who were wandering around the apartment, admiring the different rooms and architecture.

“Hungry!” Teddy cheered, teetering toward Sirius, who lifted him up onto the counter. It appeared no one else had heard him.

“Cracker Jack, Ted?” he offered, popping the bag open and offering it to the little boy with a cheeky smile.

Remus’s eyes shot to his young son then, who sat on the counter, already up to his elbow in the packet, “Absolutely not.” he chuckled, marching over to pry it from Teddy’s hand, “You will not be returning my son to me with a sugar high, thank you very much.” With that, Remus slid Teddy from the counter, allowing him to run off to join Hermione, admiring the view from the living room windows. In the next moment, Remus had shoved his hand into the bag, collecting a handful and popping it into his mouth.

“Brilliant.” Sirius chuffed, shaking his head, as Remus followed after Teddy, “Really charming.”

He wandered around the kitchen for a few more minutes, throwing together a quick something for the kids before returning to the barren living room where his three guests had taken to sitting on the floor, Remus and Hermione smiling and laughing along as Teddy pointed out the different colors of cars passing by and buildings in the distance.

Finally, Sirius took a seat beside Remus, crossing his legs as he did, “I made sandwiches.” he murmured, passing a plate full of sandwiches to Remus so that he could distribute them to the kids, “Harry’s gone to Halifax to be with the Weasleys.” he said absently, watching as Teddy pressed sticky hands to the pristine windows, leaving massive prints.

“That’s good of him.” Remus agreed, pulling Teddy away from the window and setting the little boy in his lap, so as to help him with his lunch.

“Do you know where you’ll be staying tonight?” Sirius asked hesitantly, eyeing Remus cautiously to see how he’d take the question.

All he could do was shrug, though, as he became preoccupied with Teddy, “Haven’t got anything lined up yet, but I’m sure we’ll be able to find some hotel for tonight. We just need to find a place until I can get us something more permanent.”

“You could stay here, if you’d like. You could stay until you find a place of your own or,” he shrugged, trying to give off an air of indifference, “You could just stay.”

His eyes focused on the ground below the window, as if it were the most intriguing thing in the world, “I certainly don’t mind. We’ve got plenty of room; and right now with Harry gone-”

“Sirius-”

He shook his head then, trying to backtrack. It was in that exact moment that he realized he’d overstepped his bounds, “It was just a suggestion. You don’t need to come up with an excuse if you don’t want-”

“Are you ever going to let me finish a thought?” Remus questioned, an exhausted smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, “I’m not saying no. But we’ve got some things to discuss.”

“He means _yes._ ” Hermione practically shouted from Remus’s other side, as she leaned in to catch Sirius’s attention, “We’ll be staying here. Thank you, Sirius.”

Sirius glanced between Hermione and Remus in dismay, “I would have thought you of all people would be furious at my even suggesting...weren’t you the one who was telling me to lay off of him not two days ago?”

Remus’s eyes snapped to her then, embarrassment and surprise both evident on his face, “ _Hermione._ ”

“Things have changed.” she shrugged plainly, “And if I know Remus, if left to his own devices, he’d be going around and around in circles with you for months before coming to a decision, so here it is. We’re staying. We live here now.” With that she stood up, hoisting Teddy up and onto her hip, “I’m going to go pick our room.”

Sirius and Remus stared after her in disbelief as she marched up the stairs and disappeared around the corner. Sirius let out a huff of a laugh, shaking his head, “She’s-”

“Yeah, she is.” Remus agreed, “If we’re going to be staying here _tonight,_ though, we’re going to need to go find...well, anything really. We need somewhere for the kids to sleep, at least.”

“You’re right.” Sirius nodded, pushing himself to his feet and extending a hand to Remus, “Come on.” he insisted.

“What – where are we going?” he questioned, letting Sirius help him to his feet.

“Shopping.” he said simply.

“We can’t just leave the kids here.”

“We’ll be back before they even know we’re gone.” Sirius insisted, “One hour. We’ll finish what we can, then we’ll come back and make some dinner. Come on; it’ll be fun.”

Remus gave him a pointed look, as Sirius strutted for the door, “One hour. That’s it.”

*

“I don’t know what made you think that was a good idea.” Remus growled, struggling under the weight of the couch that they were dragging down Broadway.

They’d ordered what they could in-store and had set it for the delivery the following day. Sirius had been determined though to take this particular piece with them that day, and had insisted on buying it directly off the display and hauling it back to the apartment. Precariously stacked atop the wavering couch sat a half dozens bags filled to overflowing with clothing, linens and pillows, and a small collection of books.

Sirius rolled his eyes as he readjusted his grip, redistributing the weight, “I seem to remember you saying something about the kids needing a place to sleep.” he remarked, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, “Hence, the couch.”

“I was thinking more along the lines of a _bed,_ Sirius.”

“Because it would have been so much easier to tote a mattress and box spring through the streets of Manhattan?” Sirius questioned, “Bear left.”

Remus took a hasty look over his shoulder, turning as instructed, stumbling a bit as his heel caught on a grate, righting himself quickly before Sirius could notice that he’d lost his balance, “This is..my God, it’s a thousand pounds at least.” he grumbled, though his lips betrayed him, quirking into the ghost of a smile.

Sirius scoffed, as he guided the couch through the front doors of the apartment building, “Ten bucks says I’ll find you–everyday–sprawled out on this thing for _hours_ reading and doing crosswords like the old man that you are.” he said with a devious smile, setting down his end and calling the lift.

“You think you’re so charming, don’t you?” Remus smiled.

Sirius couldn’t do anything but shrug, lifting up his end of the couch once more as the elevator opened and they dragged the furniture inside, “Have you considered what we’ll do with this thing if we can’t get it through the door?” Remus chuckled, sizing up the door frame as they stepped out onto their floor.

“Would you quit being such a damned pessimist?” Sirius cajoled, still highly amused, “Look, see?” he bragged as he only _just_ managed to fit it through the door, dropping the couch just across the threshold, “Told you it’d fit.”

“And it’s just going to live here? Right in front of the door? Admit it, you realized this was a bad idea about ten blocks ago.” Remus insisted, his eyes sparkling.

“Fine.” Sirius said, throwing his hands up in mock admission, marching over to Remus and wrapping his arms securely around the taller man’s waist, “You’re right. Better?”

“Much.” Remus conceded, leaning down to press a kiss to Sirius’s temple before pulling away, “I’m going to get a start on dinner. Why don’t you get some of this unpacked?” he said, pointing to the bags that still sat atop of gray sofa.

*

After a quiet, leisurely dinner, Hermione had taken Teddy to the new sofa with one of the dozen new books that Remus had returned with from the afternoon shopping. For the first time in what seemed like ages, Teddy was docile, laying silently against Hermione’s chest, watching the pages as they breezed by.

By the time Remus and Sirius had finished cleaning up from dinner, Hermione had long since abandoned her book, one arm around Teddy, the other sprawled over her head as she snored mightily, “Should we throw some blankets over them?” Sirius asked, crossing his arms as he looked down over the two exhausted children.

“It’ll just wake them.” he sighed, “They’re light sleepers.”

Sirius looked on doubtfully on the two, as they snored in tandem, “Somehow I don’t think that’s the case.” he said with a laugh, “You cold?” he asked, watching as Remus took a seat on one of the bottom steps, watching over his sleeping brood.

“A little.”

He disappeared for a moment, reappearing from the kitchen with two glasses of brandy and a duvet draped over his shoulders, “Here.” Sirius murmured, handing both glasses to him before shimmying the duvet over Remus’s shoulders, “Better?”

Remus nodded, his eyelids beginning to droop with the exhaustion of the day. He handed over one of the glasses to Sirius as he took a seat as well, “Yeah. Better.” he agreed, turning to look out the windows before them. Down below, lamps were just beginning to illuminate the streets, crowds starting to dwindle for the night.

“The telegraph that came during dinner was from Harry.” Sirius said conversationally, “He made it to the border. Should be in Halifax by tomorrow morning.”

“He’ll be a comfort to the Weasleys, I’m sure.” Remus said, taking a sip off the top of his glass, “He’s a good lad.”

“Yeah, he is.” he agreed, letting a shiver tug its way through his body.

“Cold?” Remus asked.

Sirius shook his head with a tiny laugh, “No, I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie. It doesn’t suit you.” he chuckled, opening the blanket that Sirius had draped over his shoulders, pulling him into his side so that they were both covered, “Can I ask you something?” he asked softly.

“Of course.”

Remus set his glass on the step below before turning to face Sirius, “Where does this leave us?”

Sirius let out a heavy breath, nodding at the question, before meeting his partner’s eyes, “I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone the way I loved you.” he admitted, ducking his head abashedly, “I mean I _really_ loved you.”

“That was twenty years ago, Sirius,” Remus pointed out.

“I know that, but-”

“You didn’t let me finish.” he grumbled, giving Sirius a small jab in the side with his elbow, “It _was_ a long time ago...but I felt the same way back then.”

Sirius’s throat went dry as he pressed his lips into a firm line, “Do you think we’ll ever be able to get that back...after all this?”

“I think we can try.” Remus said, turning his eyes to watch the passersby down below on the street, “Do _you_ think we can do this?” he asked, shaking his head, “It’s not just you and me now. This is you and me...and three kids, Sirius.”

Shaking his hair out of his eyes, Sirius leaned forward and pressed a kiss to partner's temple, taking Remus's hand in both of his own before resting his head on his shoulder, “We’ll be alright.” he said firmly, running a thumb over the back of Remus’s hand.

His eyes strayed to the children still sleeping, splayed out on the couch, and a small smile lifted the edges of his mouth, “We will be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a short epilogue posted immediately after this and that will be the end to this story! I really appreciate those of you that took the time to comment on every chapter with excellent feedback. It was a lot of fun being able to chat with you all in the comments over this past month while writing.  
> Thanks for reading!


	11. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five Years Later...

“It’s the day! It’s the day!” Teddy’s excited shrieks rang through the apartment as the six-year-old boy flung a bedroom door open, catapulting himself into the bed, earning annoyed grumbles from both parties present.

“Go back to sleep, Ted.” Sirius groaned, rolling over and burying his head under a pillow.

“But it’s _the day._ ” he whined, dragging the pillow off of Sirius’s matted head belligerently, “Come on. Come on! _Come on!_ ” he shouted, trying to drag Remus from bed by the hand, only to be shaken off once again.

“Teddy, we’ve talked about this.” Remus scolded, his eyes still closed, sleep very nearly pulling him back in, “The alarm tells you-”

“The alarm already _happened!_ ” Teddy insisted, stamping his foot in frustration.

This caught Remus’s attention. He forced his eyes open, giving the clock on his nightstand an incredulous look before shooting up from bed in a panic, “ _Shit!_ ” he exclaimed, his eyes growing wide.

Teddy cackled, pointing a finger at his father as he rushed around the room trying to get his bearings, “Dad said a _bad_ word.” the boy wailed.

“He sure did.” Sirius chuckled, watching on in amusement.

“We slept through the alarm. The ceremony’s in an hour!”

Sirius’s eyes grew wide with worry then as well, “Shit.” he repeated, causing Teddy to cackle even louder.

“Take him, please.” Remus instructed, “Get him fed and make sure he’s dressed. I laid his clothes out last night on the dresser. I’ve still got to go to the florist.”

“Come on, squirt.” Sirius murmured to Teddy, scooping him up under the armpits and carrying him from the room.

Mere minutes later, Sirius had eggs going over the stove and Teddy sat quietly at the kitchen counter, coloring away. Remus came ripping into the room, looking like an absolute disaster with shoes untied and his jacket buttoned one-off. Sirius gave him a humored look before shaking his head, “Do you want eggs?”

“I haven’t got time. I’ve got to go to the florist. I’ve got to pick up the packages for the party tonight and I’ve got to get a telegraph to Harry-”

“Remus, you’re panicking.” Sirius murmured, amused. He took the breakfast off the burner then, going to wrap his arms around his clearly frazzled partner, “Harry is meeting us there; he told me so last night. We will make it with time to spare. Don’t worry.”

Remus let out a breath he’d been holding, finally letting the morning catch up to him, “You’re right.” he nodded.

“Go do what you’ve got to do with the florist and when you get back I’ll have us both ready.”

“Thank you.” Remus sighed, leaning down slighting to press a kiss to Sirius’s lips before pulling the front door open, “I’ll be back soon.”

*

“Look at you two!” Remus mused as he shut the door behind himself, admiring Sirius and Teddy who sat on the couch, nearly identical with their hair slicked back and almost comically matching black suits, “You look wonderful, Teddy.” he smiled, brushing a bit of fuzz from his son’s shoulder.

“What about me?” Sirius whined, jutting his lip out in a fake pout.

“Very nice.” Remus said with a chuckle, leaning over the back of the couch to press a kiss to his cheek, “Alright, we’ve got to get going if we’re going to get there in enough time to find Harry. We’d best get going.”

“I had the desk call a cab for us. It’s waiting outside.” Sirius said, striding for the door, opening it for Remus and Teddy before locking it soundly behind.

“Do you think Hermione invited that _Weasley boy?_ ” Sirius asked, once they had climbed into the back of the cab and were well on their way.

Remus could help but roll his eyes, “You don’t have to say it like _that._ She and Ron have been together for years, Sirius. It’s perfectly fine if she-”

“You know, I really don’t like being the overprotective one.” Sirius chuckled elbowing Remus lightly, “I suppose that means Harry’s girl will be there as well?”

“I would be surprised if she didn’t invite all of the Weasleys.” Remus said plainly, “She and Harry have been spending a lot of time over there lately.”

“Do you think it’s as serious between Harry and Ginny as it is Ron and Hermione?” he asked conversationally, watching as the university campus pulled into view.

“Guess we’ll find out, won’t we?” Remus asked, amused.

The cab pulled up directly outside the edifice where the commencement was set to take place. As they clamored out, they were immediately sucked into a crowd of what felt like thousands of friends and family members, all there to wish well to their newly-minted university graduates.

As they were jostled through the crowd, a pamphlet somehow made its way into Sirius’s hand:

  


_**Columbia College** _

_**Class of 1917** _

_**Commencement** _

  


“There they are!” Teddy called, darting through the crowd like a speeding bullet. Sirius and Remus very nearly lost him, shoving their way through the crowd, trying to keep eyes on the boy. For a brief second they lost sight of him, a panic sinking in between the two of them.

A moment later though, Teddy reappeared, hand held tightly in that of a young woman who beamed back at the two men, “Missing something?” she asked, a melodious laugh falling from her lips, “Teddy’s gotten so big. I almost didn’t recognize him.”

“ _Fleur._ ” Sirius gasped, shaking his head. She looked positively radiant, dressed in her best. She hadn’t aged a day and looked as thought she’d done well for herself, dressed in radiant blues with gold accent jewelry.

“It’s been a long time, Sirius.” she said, extending her arms out for a hug, “Remus.” she smiled in greeting, reaching out for him as well.

It had been nearly three years since they had seen or heard from Fleur. For a few months after the disaster, she’d stayed with the Weasleys, having frequent visits from the Lupins and Sirius to keep occupied. After she’d gotten up the courage to sail on open water again, however, she’d gone back to France to be with her family. This was the first they’d heard or seen of her back in the states.

“We all came to support your Hermione.” she said brightly, jerking her head in the direction of where Harry was chatted animatedly with the Weasleys, one arm looped around Ginny’s waist. With a conspiratorial glance to make sure no one was watching, Fleur pulled open her clutch and shoved a small cigar tin into Sirius’s grasp, “I brought you those for the occasion.”

“We need to get a move on!” Mrs. Weasley called, waving over the late arrivals, “Okay, Remus, Sirius. You give him to me,” she said, taking hold of Teddy’s hand, “You’ll be sitting down at the front so Hermione will be able to find you at the end of the commencement; we’ll be up in the grand stand. You and Hermione can meet us after, yes?”

“Yes, ma’am!” Sirius declared, giving her a mock salute.

Remus let out a suffering sigh, shaking his head before leaning in and kissing her on the cheek, “Thank you, Molly.”

“Alright, alright.” Molly chuckled, batting him away, “Get going, you two.”

With that, Sirius and Remus took off, trying to find a decent spot among the masses, settling on a position, a few rows back, where they had a clear view of the stage. As the graduates began to process out to their seats, Sirius whooped loudly, causing Hermione’s head to turn. Remus wanted nothing more than to bury his head in his hands in embarrassment, but his mood lightened substantially when he saw, to his dismay, Hermione wink in return.

There wasn’t a dry eye among them when Hermione was called to walk across the stage and collect her diploma. A roar could be heard from the back of the stands as the Weasley boys and Harry whooped and hollered. Remus wiped furiously as his tears while Sirius stood tall, screaming his cheer and clapping his hands high over his head.

She blushed furiously when, after the commencement, she rejoined her father and Sirius in the stands. Hermione was smothered almost immediately with tight hugs from both as she beamed back up at them.

“We’re proud of you, kiddo.” Sirius murmured.

“Thank you.” she murmured, hugging them both tightly once more before pulling her mortarboard from atop her frizzy hair, “Both of you. I couldn’t have done it without both of you cheering me on.” she said, her eyes growing misty.

“None of that.” Remus insisted, wiping his own eyes before handing Hermione the bouquet he’d gone to the florist for that morning, “These are for you. Congratulations.” he murmured, sniffing back his own tears, “We need to get going, though, because we set up a party for you back at the flat and I know for a fact there won’t be any food left if the Weasley boys get there first.”

*

Sure enough, by the time they had arrived back at their apartment, Harry had let the Weasleys in and a party was in full swing. The boys had plates stacked high with sandwiches and cake and the gramophone that sat in the corner. Harry perched on the armrest of the chair where Ginny sat. She and George were enthralled in a chess match, Harry and Fred screaming encouragements over their shoulders. Mrs. Weasley bustled in and out of the kitchen, procuring the dishes of food that Remus and Sirius had prepared the night before. In a far corner, Fleur sat nursing a glass of red wine, listening as Teddy red to her from one of his school books.

“Make a plate, boys.” Mrs. Weasley instructed, bustling over to Hermione, Sirius, and Remus, “You too, dear. Give me these.” she said, pulling the bouquet from Hermione’s handsd, “I’ll find some water for them.”

Remus chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief, “How is it that that woman can make herself a host absolutely anywhere?”

“Be grateful. You know you didn’t want to do all of this.” Sirius murmured, pressing a kiss to his temple before marching into the kitchen and heading straight for the liquor cabinet, pulling out his favorite brandy, “Want one?” he asked, pouring a glass for Remus before he could answer, shoving it into his hands.

Sirius let out a sigh, leaning against the counter as he surveyed the room before them. Ron had reappeared, clearly having gone to the florist down the block, arriving with still more flowers for Hermione. Kissing him hastily on the cheek, she rushed to the kitchen to find water for the flowers. She blushed furiously as both her father and Sirius quirked an eyebrow at her, “Would you _look at that?_ ” Sirius teased.

“Shut up, you two.” she mumbled, fighting against the giddy smile that spread across her face.

“I didn’t say a _word._ ” Remus said, smiling at the floor as the breezed past, rejoining the party.

“I think I’m going to go have a smoke.” Sirius said, pulling the tin that Fleur had given him earlier that day from his pocket, “Come with me?”

Remus followed him out onto the balcony, taking a seat in one of the chairs, facing out toward the city before them, “Thank you.” he grumbled taking a cigar and lit match from Sirius.

“I’m surprised at you.” he chuckled, “I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you smoke.”

“Special circumstances.” he grumbled, toasting Sirius with his brandy before taking a drag off of the cigar, “She’s making me feel old.”

“Well,” Sirius murmured, situating his chair so that he was facing Remus rather than the cityscape, “at least old looks good on you.”

Remus let out a snort, followed by a hacking cough as he choked on the smoke from his cigar, “Thanks very much.” he choked, as Sirius nearly doubled over in laughter.

“Sorry.” he mused, pounding Remus on the back, “You laid that one right out there for me, though.”

As he righted himself, Remus let out a small laugh of his own, “No, you’re right. I set myself up for that.”

“I have something for you.” Sirius asked, pulling Remus’s hand into his own.

“Oh, what’d you get me?” he asked excited, his eyes sparkling, as he put out his cigar, “Anything good?” he asked, leaning forward and setting down his brandy .

Sirius shrugged, “I think so.” he said, reaching into his pocket and procuring a small black box, “For you.”

His brow furrowed in confusion, as he sat up straighter, pulling the box into his lap, “What’s this?” he asked, eyeing it suspiciously.

“Just open it, dear.” he sighed, watching Remus tentatively.

With one more confused look, Remus squeezed the box open, his eyes growing wide. Inside sat two silver rings, a far cry from the pathetic tin set they’d had all those years ago, “Sirius.” he murmured, shaking his head, with tears building at the corners of his eyes.

“There’s one there for you...and one there for you to give to me. If you want to, that is.”

“Sirius.” he repeated, shaking his head as a massive smile split his face. A moment later, he pulled his partner into a tight hug, pressing a kiss to his temple, “Here – quickly – give me your hand.”

The two were so wrapped up in themselves that they didn’t even noticed the half dozen faces smashed against the glass door, watching the interaction.

Sirius beamed wildly as Remus took his hand, sliding one of the thin silver rings onto his finger. He then took the one that was left and placed it on Remus’s finger, interlocking their fingers as they admired their new rings.

“What do they mean?” Remus asked, pulling back from a kiss that Sirius had pulled him into, “Same thing as before? _You’re mine. I’m yours. The normal stuff?_ ”

“No.” Sirius shook his head, leaning in for another kiss then, resting his forehead against Remus’s, “These mean,” he murmured, tracing the indention that the ring bit into Remus’s skin, “so much more. We were kids the last time we did this. We didn’t know anything...about anything. But I think you and I both have a better idea of what _this_ is now. So…here’s what I’m going to promise you this time.

“I promise that I will always be here for you, for whatever you need. I promise that I’ll always love you-”

“Sirius,” he sighed, hastily wiping a tear from his cheek, “you don’t have to-”

“No, let me finish.” Sirius insisted, “I promise I’ll always be the best father I can for our kids. I will always keep...” he sniffed hard, trying to keep his voice from wavering, “your favorite chocolate in the kitchen. And I promise I won’t say anything about your terrible morning breath _too_ often…”

Remus could help but let out a howling laugh, letting the tears stream down his face freely. He wrapped his arms around Sirius’s neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss, silencing him once and for all, “I love you, you idiot.”

Sirius sank into his grasp, the rest of his speech falling from his mind. He sighed heavily, letting his forehead rest against Remus’s, their shaking hands finding each other one final time, “I love you, too.”


End file.
